


That One Time in the Impala

by PetiteAbeille



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidents, Adult baby, Age Play, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Bobby, Awesome Castiel, Baby Dean, Bathing/Washing, Consensual, Daddy Cas, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean Needs Castiel, Desperation, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Hurt Dean, Infantilism, Little Dean, M/M, Nightmares, Pacifier - Freeform, Pants wetting, Protective Bobby Singer, Protective Castiel, Sick Dean, Sickfic, Supportive Castiel, Uncle Gabriel, Wetting, pull-ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:45:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetiteAbeille/pseuds/PetiteAbeille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets caught in traffic, and his slight desperation turns into a major problem. Castiel hears Dean's unconscious cries for help and decides to come to his aid, whether Dean wants him to or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester groaned as his Impala crested the hill and a line of cars became visible, stretching as far as he could see. 

"Son of a bitch," he muttered to himself.

Dean lifted his foot from the gas and felt the car slow until it joined the parade of vehicles doing 15mph down the major highway. He leaned back in his seat and turned the volume up so "Back in Black" was blaring. Dean tried to lose himself in the music and give his mind over to the distraction. Driving slowly bored the hell out of him. What was worse though, was that Dean had to pee. Badly.

The hunter had forgone the last two rest stops he passed, knowing that there was a halfway decent motel up the road. Dean had known he would be able to make it; his bladder had been twinging, but his situation was far from desperate. That had been half an hour ago though, before his third energy drink and before the traffic ahead of him had ground to a complete halt.

Dean shifted and started to weigh his options. There was no shoulder to pull off onto, and there were no other exits until the motel, which was still miles away. For once Dean wished he didn't keep his car so clean. An empty bottle would be a true blessing at present.

The cars ahead of Dean rolled forward a few feet, and a moan escaped Dean as he lifted his foot from the gas, allowing the Impala to lurch forward. Instinctively, Dean grabbed himself through his jeans as his body jerked with the car. - Damn - he felt like an infant. There was one thing Dean was certain of though, and that was that he would never make a mess of his baby. He would let his bladder explode from pressure before he soiled the beautiful leather seats.

Dean grimaced. He wasn't sure when his mind had decided there was a possibility that he wouldn't make it, but as he shifted in his seat and felt his bladder protest at the disturbance, Dean realized the danger he was in. He sat up as tall as he could and gazed desperately down the road, eyes scanning for any sign of the motel. There was nothing, just more dusty highway. As Dean slumped back down, he was startled by a sharp honk from behind him. Traffic had moved another few yards without Dean noticing. In a moment of slight panic, he let his foot off the gas, and his car started forward. Almost as soon as the vehicle began to move, Dean had caught up to the cars in front of him and had to slam on his breaks. Dean's body lurched forward towards the front windshield, and in that moment of surprise, Dean let go of himself to grasp the steering wheel.

"Shit," he shouted as he felt a spurt of pee dampen his boxers. He immediately clamped his hand back down on himself.

Dean looked down to inspect the damage. There was nothing to see on the crotch of his jeans, but when Dean shifted his bum he could feel the warm wetness where a few drops of urine had trickled down to pool beneath him. Dean felt the seat underneath him, but there was no wetness there. At least no damage had been done to the car. 

"Alright," Dean sighed, gritting his teeth. "Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. Might relieve some pressure." Dean didn't know why he was talking aloud, but it seemed to bring him some calm. He could pretend he was in control.

Even as he thought that though, Dean's attention was again drawn to his bladder. The button of his jeans was digging uncomfortably into the distended organ, and his entire torso ached with its fullness. Dean moaned. He could undo the button, but that would mean taking his hand off himself, and he knew how well that had gone last time. 

"Just a bit further Winchester," Dean muttered to himself. "You've got this."

He didn't though, and Dean knew it. His eyes were watering with pain. Traitorously, his mind turned to the possibility of just letting go. The pain would be gone. The relief would be beautiful. His poor car definitely did not deserve that treatment, but the seats weren't fabric at least; they would come clean with a little TLC. 

Dean was brought back to reality with a jolt as another spasm wracked his bladder. He clamped down with his fingers so hard that he cried out, but it still wasn't enough to prevent a bit more pee from leaking out. The wetness had run down between his cheeks now, and he could see a small dark patch grow on the front of his jeans.

Dean whimpered. He was actually going to pee himself. He was going to wet his pants and his car like a little kid. 

Dean rocked back and forth, never loosening his vice-like grip on his penis. Without his noticing, Dean's breath had been speeding up, growing shallower as he began to panic. Dean knew now there was no way out. Another spurt came out and the pee spot on his jeans grew to the size of an orange. 

"Oh please," he whispered. He didn't know what he was praying for - for his body to finally reach its limit and allow him sweet relief or for him to hold out long enough to reach a toilet. 

In the end it didn't matter. The Impala hit a bump, and even going only 10 mph, that was all Dean's bladder needed. His eyes grew wet as his boxers filled with warm liquid. He was as helpless to stop the tears that raced down his cheeks as he was to stop the torrent that spread first through the seat of his pants and finally down his legs. 

Dean had thought it would all be over when his body finally gave in, but even after his bladder finished releasing, Dean didn't get his expected peace. Instead, his breath was hitching, coming out in shallower gasps. Tears were blinding his vision, and they just wouldn't stop. Not only had Dean pissed himself like a child, now he was crying about it. Dean held tight to the steering wheel, grasping onto the solid handle like it was the only thing grounding him. He was in no way fit to drive. Even in his current state Dean knew he should not be behind the wheel, but in the same way this whole mess had started, there was no where for him to pull over.

God he was an idiot. He should have gone when he had the chance. He was stupid and immature and useless and disgusting. A single sob escaped him, and before Dean knew it, his entire body was shaking with them. 

Blinded by his own self-loathing and the tears that blurred his vision, Dean didn't notice he was no longer alone until a deep voice said, "Dean".

Dean was momentarily shocked out of crying, but once he realized that Castiel - one of the purest creatures he knew, and the object of Dean's secret crush - was seated next to him in his soiled car, Dean lost all remaining semblance of calm. 

The Impala swerved as Dean tried and failed to hold her steady as his whole body shook. They would have hit the guardrail had Castiel not grabbed the wheel. 

"Dean, what -" 

Castiel paused as a musky sent filled his nostrils. He looked down and noticed Dean's pants for the first time. The angel was quiet for a moment as he tried to sort the scene out in his mind, but another sob from Dean shook him from his reverie. 

"Oh sweetheart," Castiel said. He never called Dean by anything over than his name, but the hunter seemed so small at that moment. The term of endearment had formed on Castiel's lips of its own accord, and hearing it, Cas felt it was right. 

Cas rubbed a soothing hand up and down Dean's back, while his other arm reached awkwardly across his body to keep the steering wheel level. 

"Shh," Cas continued. He kept up a litany of softly mumbled comments and gentle sounds. Most of it was nonsense, but it seemed to calm Dean.

By the time the Impala reached the site of construction, the source of Dean's misadventure, the human had stopped sobbing. His eyes were red and puffy, and he sat silently. An occasional tear still wound its way down Dean's cheek, and Cas would reach up to brush each one off, until finally Dean pushed Castiel's hand away. The angel said nothing about the abrupt gesture. Instead, now that Dean was calming down enough to drive on his own, Cas used a little angel mojo to clean Dean's pants and underwear. Dean jumped a little when he felt himself grow clean, but he said nothing. Although he was grateful, thanking Cas would have meant acknowledging the situation. Dean wasn't ready to do that. Hell, he would never be ready for that. Even just the idea of talking to Castiel right now had Dean's stomach tied up into knots. 

Dean and Castiel drove on in silence until they reached the motel, where Dean pulled off the highway and into a parking space. He unclipped his seatbelt and got out of the car. Without waiting to see if Castiel followed, Dean went into what passed for the motel's lobby. Dean grimaced as he opened the door to the building and the current of moving air brought the stench of urine to his nose. Dean was sure Cas' spell-thing would have taken care of that, but the memory of his shame was still so fresh that Dean's mind supplied the embarrassing odour of its own accord. 

When Dean had gotten a room key and went back out to the parking lot, Castiel was standing by the car. His ramrod straight posture was hardly unusual, but in it Dean saw the disgust he knew the angel must be feeling towards him. He just wanted Cas to go away, to leave him to wallow in misery. When the angel followed him from the parking lot though, Dean held the door to the room open until Castiel walked in. 

Dean began to unpack some clean clothes and a bar of soap. Cas may have magic-ed him clean, but he still felt filthy. A stupid, dirty child who couldn't control his own body and was too dumb to know when he should stop driving and go pee. 

Tears pricked Dean's eyes again and he brushed at them angrily with his sleeve.

"Dean," Castiel said, breaking the silence that had persisted through the entire car ride.

Dean turned towards the bathroom, hoping that if he ignored Cas the angel would leave.

"Dean," Castiel repeated more firmly.

Although he desperately wanted privacy, Dean felt himself turn back towards his friend. 

Castiel stepped towards Dean, closing the distance between them.

"Dean, what happened?" he asked gently. 

Dean shuddered. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" Cas asked in surprise. 

Dean kept his eyes on the ground, and shrugged.

Reaching forward, Castiel cupped Dean's chin in his hand and tilted it upwards, so the hunter was forced to meet his eyes.

"For," Dean gestured helplessly.

"Yes," prompted Cas.

"For everything," Dean whispered. To his mortification he started to cry again.

"Dean, sweetie, you still haven't told me what happened, but I can't imagine that you have anything to be sorry for."

"I pissed myself like a fucking kid," Dean snapped. 

"Things happen," Castiel shrugged.

"I made you clean it up."

"You did no such thing. I wanted to do that."

The silence stretched between them. 

"I'm disgusting," Dean tried again.

"Oh no sweetheart," Cas told him. He leaned forward and took Dean in his arms. Slowly, Castiel rocked both of them back and forth, murmuring to Dean until the man pulled away red-faced, but significantly calmer. 

"Sorry," Dean muttered, looking at the ground again.

Castiel fought back a sigh of irritation. Just when Cas thought he was beginning to understand the human, Dean made comprehending mortal tendencies seem impossible. Cas could see no reason for Dean to get this upset over something so little. Castiel knew that irritation was not what the situation needed though, so he simply allowed the silence to stretch. 

When it became clear that Dean wasn't going to offer anything more, Cas pulled Dean down to the motel room's worn couch. Dean struggled a bit when Castiel stretched out behind him so they were spooning and Cas' arm draped protectively over him. Cas shushed him though, and surprisingly Dean listened. Dean even amazed himself by relaxing into the angel's warm body. Castiel was firm and solid behind him, lending a comforting presence.

"Now," Cas said after a moment. He took a gamble, hoping to capitalize on how well Dean seemed to be responding to orders right now. "You are going to tell me exactly what happened, and then you are going to take a bath and go to bed."

Dean wriggled nervously, but otherwise he offered no resistance. He knew from the moment he saw Cas sitting next to him in the car that there was no way he could get away without explaining his state. Something about Castiel's tone too brokered no room for argument.

Cas breathed in a sigh of relief when it became obvious that Dean wasn't going to fight him. He had never seen Dean in such a state as when he first arrived in the car, and he was still filled with dread at the thought of what might have happened to the man. Castle resisted the urge to pat Dean's hair. Like the pet names and forcing Dean to meet his gaze, the idea of stroking Dean felt right, but he didn't want to do anything that might interfere with Dean opening up.

"Go on," Cas said instead.

"I peed my pants," Dean muttered.

"So I noticed," Cas said dryly. "Was it an accident?"

Dean choked at Castiel's choice of words. It sounded so infantile. He was forced to nod though, because the statement was unfortunately true.

"Use your words Dean."

"It was an accident, Cas," Dean said. His voice was small, matching how he felt. Dean wished he could be littler though. He wanted nothing more than to shrink down to nothing and disappear. Instead, Dean settled for curling himself into the smallest ball possible with the limited couch space he had available for maneuvering.

"Good," Cas said. "Thank you for telling me." He decided not to push Dean any further on why he hadn't gone to the bathroom earlier. The boy was obviously upset and in the end it really didn't matter. What was important now was sorting out the jumble of thoughts and emotions that were roiling in Dean's mind. The angel had taken a peak, but it would be most therapeutic if Dean told Castiel himself - if he said the words aloud.

"Now why were you so upset by that Dean," Castiel asked. "Accidents happen," he added.

"Because it's gross."

"And?" prompted Castiel.

"And what?" Dean asked, growing irritated again. It was like Cas was trying to make this as difficult for him as possible. "I'm an adult, Cas. I'm not supposed to do that."

"Don't lie to me Dean," Cas admonished. He pulled Dean around so the hunter had to look at him again. "I can see your reasoning, but it doesn't account for the state you were in when I found you. Why were you that upset?"

Dean squeezed his eyes shut. "Because I liked it," he whispered through gritted teeth.

Cas thought about making Dean repeat himself louder. The man was being ridiculous in his overreaction. With his angel senses though, Cas had heard Dean's every word, and as much as he wanted Dean to understand that nothing was wrong with those feelings, he also didn't want to push Dean too much at that moment.

"What did you like about it?" Cas asked instead.

Dean sighed, giving in to the idea that Cas was going to force him to share every humiliating detail.

His cheeks were bright red as Dean told Cas everything. "I didn't like how much it hurt when I had to go, but it felt good when I finally went. Kind of warm or something." Dean hesitated, and Cas prompted him with a gentle smile and a nod. "It was scary and I didn't like myself afterwards, but then you came and I felt-"

"How did you feel, Dean?"

Dean could swear his face and ears would start blistering he felt so hot with shame. "I felt safe."

"What's wrong with feeling safe?" Castiel was genuinely confused now. He had read every emotion Dean had been experiencing correctly, but he still couldn't grasp how they all fit together. 

"Cause that's just not how it's supposed to work," Dean struggled to explain. "Everything about today was wrong."

Both men lay silently for a bit. Dean began to relax again, thinking the conversation was finally over. He still felt nauseous with anxiety, but the worst was past. He would understand if Cas never wanted to see him again. It would suck, but he would make due. Dean definitely couldn't blame the angel for that.

Dean was just drifting off to sleep, exhausted after the emotional turmoil of the day, when fingers running gently through his hair pulled him back to wakefulness. 

"I'd like to try something," Cas said.

Dean stiffened. Oh great. Freaking angels never could leave anything alone.

"I want to try making you feel safe and cared for again."

Dean swallowed the gorge that rose in his throat. There was no way Cas could mean what Dean thought he did.

Castiel felt Dean's body react and heard his clamouring thoughts.

"It's ok. We won't do anything you don't want to, but I would really like it if you would give me this chance." Castiel went back to stroking Dean's hair and smiled as the hunter relaxed into his touch slightly.

"Dean you work so hard, and you do so much. You carry everyone's expectations with you. You keep the entire world safe. Why shouldn't you have someone give you something that makes you feel protected too?"

"I don't know," Dean whispered, and Castiel took that as a good sign. At least it wasn't an outright refusal.

"It would mean a lot to me Dean. You trust me right?"

"Of course," Dean managed.

Castiel waited silently, letting Dean digest all that had been said.

"Did you read my thoughts Cas?" Dean asked finally.

"Mmm," the angel agreed.

Instead of getting irritated though, Dean just asked, "so you know everything. We'd do all of it?"

"Yes Dean, as much as you wanted."

"And you wouldn't find it gross, or weird, or annoying?"

The tone of wistful longing pulled at Cas and he had to fight the urge to wrap Dean up in his arms. "Never sweetheart," he said.

Dean shuddered at the endearment. 

After that Dean was quiet for so long that Castiel thought he had lost the hunter on this. The man could be so stubborn when it came to meeting his own needs. Finally though, Dean looked up at his angel, eyes wide with a mixture of fear, disbelief, and hope. 

"Alright," he whispered. "We can try."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean had said "yes" to Castiel's request to let the angel take care of him, but what would that entail? Dean knew Cas could read his thoughts and desires, but how would Cas know what he wants when Dean wasn't certain of it himself?

The silence that followed Dean's words lasted only seconds, but it felt unending. Dean cast his eyes to the floor so he wouldn't have to meet the piercing blue ones that were currently staring into his soul. Perhaps literally, knowing goddam angels. 

The trench coat at the periphery of Dean's vision shifted and next thing he knew, Dean was engulfed by Cas' arms and warm, solid presence. It was grounding. 

Dean cleared his throat after a moment. He needed to regain some normalcy, a modicum of control. "Alright then," he said gruffly, "I guess I'll get that shower. Head to bed." It was only seven in the evening, but following Castiel's previous order to go to sleep would at least allow him an out from the current awkward situation. Besides, a shower meant he would get some much need privacy. 

Cas nodded against him, "Of course Dean. We'll talk more about this in the morning."

"Sure," Dean said. Talking more was the last thing he wanted, but he was free for now at least.

Dean felt a pang of something - regret? longing? - when he plied himself free of Cas' hug. It quickly turned to irritation though when the angel began to follow him into the bathroom. 

"Yes?" Dean asked snarkily. "Did you need something?" He leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom, as jauntily and carelessly as he could manage. 

Cas was having none of it though. Ignoring Dean's comment, Cas took hold of one of the man's crossed arms and pulled so that Dean was forced to stumble into the bathroom after him. 

"Cas-" Dean shifted awkwardly, caught between exhaustion and irritation. He had no energy to fight right now. Although Cas' magic had cleaned him thoroughly, in Dean's mind his legs still itched with dried urine and the reek of ammonia still wafted off him. The Cas in Dean's head eyed him with disgust and disappointment, and if Dean was being honest with himself, it was the latter which hurt the most. 

Castiel took a good look at Dean. He obviously saw something in the human's eyes because he nodded once, and didn't argue with Dean's unvoiced plea. 

"We will be talking about this tomorrow," Cas said firmly. For the present though, Cas just sat at the edge of the tub and turned on the tap. He adjusted the water to a temperature that seemed suitable for Dean's human skin. When the water had warmed, Cas put the old rubber plug in the drain of the bath. He rose from his seat, patted Dean on the head, and began to exit the room.

"Cas?" Dean's voice stopped him, and Castiel turned back to Dean.

"How did you find me today?"

"I answered your prayers of course," Cas said.

Dean searched searched through his memories of the dreadful afternoon. He was certain he had never asked for the angel to come.

Seeing Dean's confusion and the exhaustion in his eyes, Castiel took pity on him. "Sometimes if the soul needs something badly enough Sweetheart, the words don't need to be said aloud."

With that, Cas was gone. Dean shook his head, grumbled about meddling angels, and began to undress. Noticing the rising water levels in the tub, Dean bent down to pull the plug out the the drain. No freaking way was he taking a bath. 

Dean showered, dressed in his clean clothes, and gathered his courage before stepping out into the main room. He needn't have bothered worrying though - no angel. Dean was just telling himself that he was relieved to be left alone and certainly not disappointed or sad, when he spied a note on his bed. 

"Dean, sweetie,

You seemed like you need some space. I'm in room fifteen, next-door. If there is anything you need, you will call for me or come find me there. I will be seeing you tomorrow.

\- C"

Dean shivered. He wasn't sure if it was Cas' new use of endearments like "sweetie" or "sweetheart," which sent a tingle up his spine every time, or the fact that the angel had left a note when he normally would have just disappeared. It could even have been Cas' choice of words at the end: "you will call me", "I will be seeing you." They allowed no room for argument or doubt. Dean's angel would be back for him tomorrow. Cas wouldn't use Dean's shower as a chance to escape an awkward situation and an offer he already regretted making. 

Dean stripped out of his fresh jeans and shirt; he was tired after all. Picking up Cas' note, he pulled back the ratty duvet and slipped into bed. If Dean was too tired to forget he still held Cas' note, and if the hunter fell asleep with the angel's comforting words gripped in his hand, well who could blame him. It had been a long day, and tomorrow would be equally as eventful if Castiel had anything to say about it.

......

Dean whimpered in his sleep and then sat up with a gasp. Dean was no stranger to nightmares. With everything he had seen and done, he was used to waking up in a sweat. Since Dean was a child he had gotten into the habit of sitting up in bed after a nightmare, and forcing his breaths to slow until his heart rate followed and his whole body relaxed. After his mom died, with John away so often, self soothing had become necessary, and Dean had gotten good at it.

Tonight was different though. No matter how hard Dean tried, and no matter how many times he counted deep breaths in and out, the images from his sleep would not leave his head. They flashed before his eyes mercilessly: Cas looking at him with scorn; Cass furious at finding Dean in wet pants; Cas turning his nose up with distaste and vanishing, while Dean stood abandoned, with tears in his eyes and a puddle beneath him. Worst of all were the images where Dean stood before Cas in a yellowed diaper, arms outstretched to the angel, his whole body aching for a hug, but Castiel just laughed and walked away.

Dean knew that Cas had been the one to suggest that he take care of Dean, but the dream was too real for reason to be any match for to it. Dean shook as he sat in bed with his arms wrapped around his knees. Whether he was shivering from the cold of sitting in sweat soaked boxers and sheets, or from fear of Cas leaving and Dean never seeing the incredible being again, Dean couldn't be sure. All he knew was that he wouldn't get any peace until he saw the angel again with his own eyes. Cas' note was still clenched in his fist from when he had fallen asleep, and Dean made no move to let it go. Dean believed Cas when he said that he wasn't going anywhere. There was a difference though between thinking it and knowing with certainty in his heart. That was what Dean needed now. Certainty.

Dean let slip a little sob. He was still so worn out from the day before. There was no way he was going to bother Cas in the middle of the night though. It wasn't like the angel slept, but Dean had asked so much of him already that day. Dean Winchester was not going to be that needy again. Preferably not ever, but at least not so soon.

Dean sat up further, and leaned against the wall behind his bed. The motel bed had no backboard, and Dean resigned himself to staying uncomfortable and awake the rest of the night. He would be tired tomorrow for certain, but even if Dean wanted to face trying to fall asleep and risk letting his mind wander back to the images of abandonment, he knew he wouldn't be able to drift off with that much adrenaline still coursing through him.

Dean's bladder chose that moment to spasm, and the reminder of yesterday's mishap brought back the images Dean had been trying to suppress, not just of his humiliation, but of the dreams as well. Dean felt himself start to tear up again, but he was in control this time. As when he was younger, Dean clamped his mouth tightly shut and allowed himself just to shake with silent sobs. He was becoming more and more distraught though as each sequence of his dream repeated itself over and over and his mind. He couldn't break out of the cycle.

Dean considered calling the angel. Cas could make it all go away. Just by appearing, Cas would prove to Dean that he hadn't been abandoned. All of Dean's fears would be gone. Cas wouldn't even have to stay. Dean wouldn't have to say anything. All he needed was one glimpse of the angel, to know Cas would still come if Dean called, and Dean would be able to go back to sleep and forget for a few hours at least, that yesterday had ever happened.

Before he realized what he was doing, a shaky sob escape from Dean's lips. The traitorous sound carried with it the first syllable of the angel's name. Before Dean had even finished pronouncing the 's', the angel in question appeared beside him on the bed.

"Oh Dean," Cas sighed. "I told you to call me if you needed me."

"Didn't need you," Dean muttered.

Cas took in Dean, with his sweat-plastered hair, red eyes, and arms wrapped tightly around himself. "No, it doesn't look like you need help at all," he said.

Hearing the irritation in Castiel's voice, Dean's last bit of composure shattered, and a new bout of tears sprang from his eyes.

"Oh Dean," Cas said again, and he took the boy in his arms.

They sat like that for a moment, with Dean just breathing in Castiel's rich scent. The angel's dry voice murmured in his ear, soothing things meant to placate a child. They worked though, and Dean wasn't sure whether to be mortified by that or relieved to feel his body finally relaxing and his mind going quiet.

When Dean finally stopped shaking, Castiel stood up from the bed. Dean whimpered a bit, and Cas reached down to stroke his hair.

"I'm just getting you clean clothes," Cas said. "I'll be right back. I won't even leave your sight."

Dean nodded. It wasn't like he could have the angel glued to him for each moment of every day. He had to get over this. It still filled him with anxiety though, to watch Cas walk away. Castiel was true to his word and simply walked to the chair that held Dean's small bag of clothing. He pulled a fresh pair of boxers out and brought them over to Dean. At the same time he mojo-ed Dean's sheets clean.

When Dean made no move to get up, Cas looked at him questioningly. Dean reddened when he realized that Cas expected Dean to change right in front of him. Dean wasn't shy about getting naked, but this was Cas, the man who Dean sometimes let himself imagine being more than friends with. Besides the fact that Cas was an "angel of the lord" and way out of Dean's league, the current circumstances were less than ideal. This wasn't even in the same neighbourhood as sexy. 

“Cas,” he whined softly.

Cas frowned, but he turned around to give Dean privacy. Logically it didn’t matter. Dean would be able to hide nothing from Castiel if they actually ended up acting out Dean's innermost desires. Dean looked so torn up though and so exhausted, that Cas couldn’t stand the thought of making his boy’s face look even more wretched. 

As soon as Castiel’s back was to him, Dean scrambled up from the bed and changed as quickly as possible in case Cas changed his mind. Cas waited until he heard Dean slip under the covers again though before he turned back around.

Cas sat back down on the bed, this time with his back against the wall. Leaning was not a natural position for him, but it allowed him to pull Dean against his chest. Dean put up minimal resistance before leaning into Castiel's embrace and breathing in deeply his comfortable, familiar scent.

"Go to sleep now," Cas said soothingly, as he began stroking Dean's soft hair. Cas' words had the opposite of the desired affect, because when they rumbled in Dean's ear, the hunter immediately stiffened. It took only a perfunctory search of Dean's thoughts for Castiel to realize what was wrong.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight Dean," Castiel said. "As long as you don't mind me staying that is. I don't feel like having to go back next-door." He added the last part to soothe Dean's sense of guilt over asking Cas to stay. That was something else Cas would need to work on if his plan for their relationship was going to give Dean what the hunter needed. Dean needed to know that he could ask Cas for things and Cas would not feel resentful or reject him. For now though, Cas hoped that his explanation would do, weak though it was. Dean just nodded sleepily against Cas and made no move to get off his chest. With the angel's comforting warmth beneath him, Dean quickly fell back to sleep. This time there were no nightmares.

Dean woke up the next day feeling as well rested as he had in ages. He smiled lazily, for once able to let his senses adjust slowly to his surroundings. That was a definite benefit of falling asleep on top of an angel. Very little could harm Dean or sneak up on him when a soldier of God was lying right beneath him. With that thought, Dean remembered Cas and the night before. He found he couldn't bring himself to care though. Dean's capacity for embarrassment had been maxed yesterday after Cas found him soaked in his own urine and hysterical. One more night of neediness would not send the angel away if Cas wasn't planning to leave already.

"Good morning, dean," Cas' gravelly voice sounded from above him.

"Morning Cas," Dean mumbled. He felt much better after a good sleep, but Dean still felt a nagging sensation grow in his gut when he remembered that Cas was determined to talk today about "helping" Dean. Dean wasn't certain what the angel had in mind, but he did know that Castiel had taken an angel tour inside his head. Whatever came out of this conversation was bound to be embarrassing enough to give Dean a coronary. Unfortunately Cas would probably just resurrect him. Death would be too easy an out from this unfortunate situation

Although Dean knew firsthand Castiel's inability to let things go once his friend fixated on solving something, Dean still allowed himself to hope that if he didn't mention anything about the other day, Castiel would forget all about it. Cas was an angel after all, and Heaven was far from peaceful right now. Surely Cas had better things to do than accommodate some freaky desire of Dean's. 

Dean quickly realized how misplaced his hope was though when the next words out of Cas' mouth were, "first we will get you breakfast, and then we need to talk". 

"Cas, 'we need to talk' is a forbidden combination of words for humans", Dean tried to joke to relieve his tension. It might have worked better if Castiel understood the reference instead of staring at Dean with intense curiosity. "Never mind," Dean grumbled, and resigned himself to an uncomfortable morning of Cas' special brand of socially awkward and inappropriate questioning. 

"We might as well talk now and get it over with," said Dean. He didn't mention it aloud, but if the talk went south, at least both he and the angel could get on with their days that much sooner. Plus, if this went as badly as he thought it would, there was no way that Dean would want anything in his stomach. The anxiety was already making him nauseous.

Castiel apparently didn't agree though, because he looked at Dean hard before saying, "No. You need to eat first. You had nothing last night before bed, and you need to get your strength back."

Dean nodded glumly, but complied. He stood up and got dressed and brushed his teeth with no further argument. What was the point really?

Dean was getting ready to walk out the motel room door when Castiel stopped him.

"Before we go, do you need to use the potty Dean?" the angel asked.

"Jesus Cas," Dean shouted. "What the hell? If you're going to ask me that every time we go out now just because of one incident you can go disappear back to Heaven. I don't need this shit from you."

Castiel's eyes hardened, but he let Dean's outburst go. "As you wish," he said. "But let me know if you need to make a stop."

The truth was that Dean did need to go. He had needed to pee last night when he had first woken up from his nightmares, but when Castiel showed up, Dean had quickly forgotten. With all the dread he was feeling for the upcoming conversation, Dean's bladder had slipped his mind again until Cas mentioned it. There was a breakfast place just up the road though, so Dean would just wait and go there. There was no way he was giving Castiel the satisfaction of turning around and going now. 

Dean managed to hold it in all through a very uncomfortable breakfast, without wriggling too much. When he had finished eating, he stood up slowly from the table, trying not to look too desperate. Dean grunted "too much coffee" by way of explanation and made his way to the washroom at the back of the diner. Cas said nothing when Dean returned, although Dean's fidgets through the whole meal had been an obvious tip-off to the observant angel.

After breakfast they drove back to the motel room in silence. Dean packed up his things, and checked out while Cas waited for him in the Impala. Dean glanced at the angel, but Cas said nothing, so Dean pulled out of the parking lot.

Cas and Dean had been on the road for only 10 minutes before Castiel turned his head to look at Dean and said firmly, "Now, Dean. It's time to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get something worked out between Cas and Dean in this chapter, but it just didn't happen as quickly as I expected it to. I promise that next chapter we will find out exactly what desires Dean has buried in his head and what Castiel plans to do about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Dean to have a little more backbone this time around. I mean, it is Dean after all. 
> 
> I will definitely need to edit this again tomorrow. 9 hours of sleep in 72 hours, and my brain is starting to get fuzzy.

"Seems like all you want to do recently is talk Cas," Dean replied. "So let's talk. Lovely weather recently. No omens. Makes for a nice change. How are things in Heaven?"

"Dean," Cas rasped warningly.

"Just chatting with ya Cas," Dean said innocently. He took his eyes off the road for a moment to smirk at the angel, although he felt none of the confidence that his expression portrayed. All he could do at this point was make the conversation so difficult that Cas gave up on trying to have it. 

"We need to talk about yesterday," Cas said. Dean kept his focus on the road, and without Castiel's piercing blue eyes boring into his own, the intensity of Cas' voice had less power.

"Sure Cas," Dean said. "What did you get up to yesterday? Good day? Busy?"

Cas had finally had enough. He felt his almost endless patience reach its limit and he snapped back at Dean. "I ended up having to clean up the mess made by a little boy who is too stubborn to take care of himself. So yes Dean, it was a busy day." As soon as the words left his mouth, Cas felt instantly contrite. It was not a sensation Castiel would have been familiar with only a few years ago, but Dean Winchester was frustrating, and he seemed to pull these human emotions from Cas with as little effort as it took him to breath.

Dean's expression darkened. "I'm sorry to hear that it was such a burden for you, Cas. Thankfully, you won't have to do it again. One time thing and all that. Now, I'm sure you have stuff to be doing, and I'll be damned if I'm going to hold you up anymore."

Cas reached out to grip Dean's shoulder, but Dean shrugged his hand off roughly. Cas made no further move to touch the hunter, but he did his best to soften his voice. "I'm sorry, Dean," Cas said. "Really, I didn't mean that. It is so frustrating to watch you stubbornly refuse something you want so badly though. Maybe you do it because you are human. Whether it's you or your species though, I just can't understand."

Dean's face softened a little at Cas' confession. "So I wasn't a burden yesterday?" Dean winced as soon as the words slipped out. They glared with insecurity, something Dean ordinarily did his best to bury. Dean's relief was undeniable though when Cas replied, "helping you brought me great pleasure, Dean. It is part of why I am so anxious to do it again." That answer was definitely worth asking an awkward question for.

"So that's why you're holding onto this like Sammy with a reference book, Cas?"

Castiel smiled slightly. "In part," Cas agreed. "But it's also because you're hurting, Dean. I hate to see you struggle, and this will help you. It's so within my power to give, so let me do this." 

Cas stared at him intensely, and Dean was the first to look away. Not because he was uncomfortable being eyed by a creature with fluff and feathers though. Nope, Dean just needed to get his eyes back on the road.

Finally, Dean broke the silence with a sigh. "And what would 'this' be then, Cas?"

"What do you need?" was the angel's helpful reply.

"You tell me - you're the one who is so sure of this thing being 'right'. You must know what 'this' is".

Cas rolled his eyes in a very Winchester-like way. He would do whatever it took to carry the conversation forward though, now that progress was being made. "You told me that my being there yesterday made you feel safe," Cas said. "In what way?"

Dean shrugged awkwardly. "Felt like someone cared that I was feeling off, like I didn't have to fix everything, like everything would be fine."

"Someone does care Dean; everything will be fine, and I will fix everything if you let me."

"How?" Dean murmured. He sounded so hopeless that it broke Cas' heart.

"First you have to trust me," the angel said.

"You know I do Cas," Dean said quietly.

"Then show me. Tell me what it is you want, Dean."

Dean shook his head roughly, his jaw clenching, and his eyes coming alive again. "How can I tell you what I want when I don't even know?" he grated out.

"You know exactly what you want, Dean. You just have to stop fighting it. Stop rejecting this part of yourself."

In the lull in conversation that followed Castiel's words, Cas could hear Dean's breaths becoming faster. The man's knuckles were white around the steering wheel.

"Pull over Dean," Cas said. "Now."

Cas' voice was firm enough that Dean didn't question the direction, but did immediately as he was told. It reminded him uncomfortably of when John had been around and had given him an order. The frantic thought lost its hold as Dean felt Cas lean over to unbuckle Dean's seatbelt. The angel pulled him firmly but gently, into a hug.

Dean noticed wryly that he had been hugged more by the angel in the past two days than by all his aquantances combined in the past years. Except for during sex. Holding onto someone he was boning didn't count. Despite this realization though, Dean sucessfully supressed the urge to remind Castiel about the importance of personal space. Surprisingly, Dean found he didn't mind the hug. If he was being honest, he might even admit that it was actually kind of pleasant.

Too soon, Cas pulled away so that he was gazing into Dean's eyes again.

Now that Dean was no longer at risk of running them off the road, Cas peered at him intently. It felt to Dean as though Cas was staring down at him from a great height. That was how small and powerless he felt then. It wasn't exactly a good feeling, but he didn't fight it because this was Cas, and Dean knew that he really did trust Cas. He trusted him with his soul, his body, and his life. Now Dean needed to surrender that final piece of himself to the angel. He needed to trust that Cas would accept the parts of Dean that he himself could not.

"What do you want Dean?"

"I want to be taken care of," Dean whispered hoarsely.

"You want to be cared for," Cas repeated.

"I want you to take care of me," Dean amended, even quieter than before. He closed his eyes, unable to look at the angel. The next thing Dean knew, he was held tightly again in the angel's arms, while Cas softly caressed his back. 

"Good boy," Cas said.

Dean melted at the praise, and relaxed into Castiel's solid arms.

Eventually, Dean grew uncomfortable and reluctantly pulled away. He turned his key in the Impala's ignition, but Cas stopped him from shifting into drive with a gentle but firm hand on his arm. 

"I would love nothing more than to take care of you Dean."

Dean stared at Cas, trying to read him in the same way that Cas did to strip Dean down to his bare soul. Dean could find no hint of mocking or deception though. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of his recent revelation, that if there was one person he trusted with this part of himself, it was the angel who was currently sitting across from him, offering to make his every desire come true. And what the hell, Dean was a gambling man.

Dean nodded once perfunctorily, and turned his head to drive the Impala back onto the highway, but not before he saw the most beautiful smile grace Castiel's face. It was cliche, but in that moment, Castiel truly looked angelic, and Dean was forced to accept deep down where his greatest insecurities were buried, that maybe Cas, this beautful, magical creature, really did want this as much as Dean did. 

 

.........

 

They drove through the afternoon and the early evening. A few times through the day, Cas asked Dean if he needed to stop driving to use the potty. Dean soon gave up on trying to explain to Cas that "potty" was a word only used with young children and that despite what had happened the other day, Dean could in fact tell when he needed to use said device. One time when Cas asked, Dean did need to go, and he reddened as he nodded. Dean said nothing as he pulled off at the next exit, and he simply raised an eyebrow as Cas got out of the car with him and followed him into the gas station's public washroom. Whatever. If that made the angel feel like he was taking care of Dean, then Dean could put up with it. Besides, everytime the angel used the taboo, childish word, it sent a little thrill through Dean. It was like a muted version of how Dean had felt when Cas appeared before to take care of his accident and his bad dream. Dean stubbornly refused to acknowledge that feeling, but he stopped correcting Cas when the angel said "potty".

A one point through the drive, Castiel had to depart to do some angel errands. Before he disappeared though, he told Dean that he was leaving. It was a nice change from realizing that Cas had vanished without notice and Dean had been talking to himself for a good five minutes. While it was an odd change in behaviour, Dean definitely would consider this a perk of their new arrangement if Cas kept it up.

When Dean and Cas decided to call it quits for the night and pulled off the road at another motel, Cas insisted on being the one to check them into a room. Of course Dean had to provide the credit card and explain to Cas how to use the machine, but Cas was still adamant that Dean not go into the lobby alone. It was nice in a way. Cas also insisted Dean eat a "proper meal" at the diner they visited instead of the burger and fries he had been eyeing. That was less nice.

Despite how well the day turned out compared to his expectations, Dean was still exhausted and ready to head to bed by the time they finally got their room. As he stretched out on one of the lumpy double beds though, Cas put the kibosh on that plan.

"Dean," the angel murmured, pulling Dean back from the brink of relaxation. "You need to get cleaned up before you sleep. Come along, and I'll run you a bath."

Dean stiffened, not for the least because he was exhausted and Cas was getting between him and sleep. "Forget it, Cas," Dean mumbled. "Sleeping now. I'll grab a shower in the morning."

"Dean," Castiel said, voice full of warning. Dean had heard the angel sound much more terrifying. Cas had certainly been more badass when he called Raphael his bitch or when he maltoved Michael, but neither of those moments made Dean's heart pound like it was doing at present. He was incredibly tempted to give into the firm tone - for a shower at least. There was no way Dean Winchester was taking a bath.

As Dean got up from bed though, something stopped him in his tracks. Cas had pulled out a bag that Dean had never seen the angel carry before. It was like a small duffle bag, but it was blue and covered in cartoon dinosaurs. What the actual fuck.

It got even worse when Cas opened the bag and began to pull items from it. First came a pair of soft looking pants. Pyjamas, Dean assumed. Those weren't too bad, but then came the baby shampoo, which was just unnecessary. The last thing Castiel removed from the suitcase though was the final straw. The package said "disposable" and "briefs". Those words may not have been enough to tip Dean off, but the picture on the package did plenty.

"No fucking diapers, Cas," Dean growled. The sound came from deep within his throat, and he almost wanted to pay himself on the back for the added intimidation factor.

Castiel looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Dean-," he began.

"Don't 'Dean' me," the hunter said, voice rising. He knew he was almost shouting, but seriously. "What the sweet fuck."

Cas had the nerve to sigh. "I thought we were making progress, Dean."

"Yah?" Dean asked, "and I thought you weren't insane, Cas. I mean, diapers?"

Cas' eyes grew hard at Dean's tone and choice of words. "It's what you want, Dean."

"No," Dean said, cutting Cas off. "It's sick and wrong is what it is. It's disgusting. You can't force a grown man to piss himself. I thought you wanted to take care of me. Not torture me."

And that was when Cas got truly angry. Furious, like Dean-had-run-off-to-give-himself-over-to-Michael angry. That Dean would refer to himself and his desires as abominable pushed Cas' patience and understanding to the brink. That Dean could get mad at Castiel for doing what Dean's soul was practically screaming out for...

Dean blinked. One minute Cas was there, eyes blazing with anger, and the next he was gone. Well whatever. Dean was still seething at the angel's betrayal. The bastard could take off for good if he wanted.

Dean thought about going to bed since there was no stupid angel to interfere, but he was too furious now. Anger ran hot up and down his spine. He could barely think he was so mad. Dean had finally trusted Cas, and he had been completely betrayed. The angel had no goddam idea what Dean needed.

Instead of attempting to sleep, Dean shoved the stupid dinosaur bag that Cas had left behind onto the floor and settled back on the bed to watch some TV. He flipped through the available channels. Unsurprisingly, the motel only had the basics. Thankfully one channel was showing reruns of Dr. Sexy, and without either Sam or Cas around to judge, Dean cranked the volume and tossed aside the remote.

After only a couple of episodes, Dean began to cool down. He wasn't one to hold grudges, and once his anger began to ebb, he realized that he was once again, completely alone. With that realization, the rest of Dean's rage receded quickly, leaving behind only an uncomfortable emptiness. Great.

When the next advertisement came on, one that Dean had already seen four times that night, he got up from the bed and went to inspect the things Castiel had brought for him.

First Dean picked up the clothing - the most innocuous item. He actually gasped when he unfolded it. Dean was right about it being pyjamas, but as the fabric unrolled, he could see that Cas had brought him a onesie. And good God, was it soft. The fleecy fabric was a dark blue with little red squares that turned out to be trains. Dean couldn't help it. He held the fabric up to his face and rubbed his cheek against it. Yupp. Sinfully soft. Dean put the pyjamas back down quickly, as though afraid of being caught with them. He couldn't bring himself to throw them aside this time though, and he folded them neatly before laying them back on the bed.

Next Dean bent to pick up the diapers. His hand hovered over the rectangular package a moment, before finally grasping it. They looked fairly innocent in the picture. Really it was just briefs right? Plastic briefs. In a bag of 24. Meant to be worn only once. Certainly they weren't anything to cry over. An image of Dean bawling in a soaked diaper came unbidden to his mind, and Dean dropped the package as though it burned.

Dean left the diapers where they had landed and picked up the dinosaur bag to see what else the angel had brought for him.He rummaged around a bit, unsurprised to find various other baby paraphernalia. Dean stopped though when his hand touched on something soft. Gently, Dean pulled the thing from the depths of the bag. His heart began to race. Cas had bought him a stuffed bee. Dean just stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then, something caught his eye. The glittering veins of one wing spelled the words, "Daddy loves you." Good God. What had Dean done?

Dean couldn't help it. He clutched the stuffed toy to his chest, as though he was hugging Cas himself. Dean's solitude really sunk in as he stood by himself in the rented room, with only a plushie and a crappy TV show to keep him company. Images of his time with Cas over the last two days came back to him. The small thrill it gave him when Cas reminded him to go to the bathroom. The warmth that spread through him when his angel embraced him. For the first time in Dean's life, having someone other than Sam care so deeply for Dean that he would give Dean anything. And what had Dean done? He had freaked out over some plastic pants. He let pride get in the way of the best gift he had ever been given.

The little bee shook against him as Dean clung to it, the reality of the whole situation finally sinking in.

"Cas-," Dea whispered. He waited, but there was no response. "Cas," he tried again, a little louder. Still there was nothing.

"Well, you've really done it this time, Dean," the hunter told himself sadly. He knew Cas could hear him. The angel could always hear him. After all, they had a "profound bond", right? Or at least they used to.

Dean forced himself to calm down so that he could think. He needed to get Cas back. Even if it meant diapers, pacifiers, cribs - that particular thought made Dean shudder - the whole shebang would be worth it if Cas was the one administering those treatments. Dean knew he had hurt Cas though. Whether it was the angel's feelings or pride that Dean damaged most, he couldn't be sure. Either way, it would take a big act to get his angel back. And Dean knew just what he had to do.

..............

Dean took a swig of scotch to help calm his nerves. He had already decided to go through with this, and so he had stopped analyzing the potential repercussions awhile ago. There was no longer any point. Dean's stomach didn't share his reasoning though, and it was pulling constant somersaults, upsetting his whole abdomen.

Dean cut himself off after four glasses of scotch. It was enough to give him a decent buzz, but wouldn't put him over the edge. It didn't seem appropriate for a baby, and especially not an angel's baby, to be drunk.

Along with the alcohol, Dean drank two litres of water. It was as much as his stomach could handle in the present circumstances, so it would have to be enough. Dean knew he could just pee his pants, and it would have the same effect. He was also aware that the likelihood of him having a real accident before he gave into pain and just let go was pretty low. It felt better though if this was as close to a true accidental wetting as Dean could come though. He would feel less like he was manipulating Cas that way.

As Dean continued to watch the D. Sexy marathon, his bladder began to make its presence known. When Dean felt the first nagging twinge, his nervousness increased tenfold. He was actually going to do this and so soon after his last humiliation. Dean forced himself to stay calm and just keep watching the show. It's Cas, he reminded himself. Cas won't judge you for this. Cas will understand, and he'll fix everything.

Satisfied with that thought, Dean was less worried even when the tension in his abdomen began to escalate. It was starting to get painful, and he thought again about just letting go. It seemed so wrong though. Not only was it manipulative, but also so much more shameful than just losing control.

Dean had been tapping his foot for awhile, but now he began to squirm in his seat. Since he was alone, he allowed himself a sorry sounding whimper. Dean grabbed his crotch tightly. After all, the point was to hold out for as long as possible.

By the time another hour had passed, Dean couldn't keep still. He was moaning as he squirmed, and his penis was beginning to hurt from the constant pressure he was using to hold in the deluge of urine that wanted to come out. It was with relief, rather than fear, that Dean felt the first drops of pee escape into his boxers. Then Dean realized in a moment of panic that he had not figured out where he would have his accident. The motel room had no couch. He was currently watching TV on the bed, but there was no way he was wetting his bed too. If Castiel didn't come... No. Cas would come. Dean wouldn't have to explain a wet bed to the motel staff in the morning, but even still, he didn't want to pee the bed.

Dean stood up shakily, still unsure of where he should go. In the end it didn't matter though. As soon as Dean stood fully and uncrossed his legs, a large spurt of pee left his body. It hit he front of his pants, forming a dark stain. Dean watched in awe as the stain grew, and at the same time he felt the warm wetness run back towards his bum and finally all down his legs. Pee splattered against the old carpet as his flow finally released completely enough to drip out his pant legs. The puddle on the carpet grew, and the warmth continued to encompass Dean's lower half. Dean realized through his trance that he wasn't disgusted or anxious or afraid. He felt relieved as expected, but he also felt really freaking good. The feeling was warm, comforting, and really dam hot, just as it had been the first time Dean wet himself. This time though, it wasn't a surprise, and that removed the fear factor, making the whole experience so much better.

When Dean finished peeing he just stood still, uncertain of what to do next. He didn't know how to clean up the carpet, and now that the deed was done and his pants were getting cold and itchy, Dean was starting to get nervous about calling Castiel. What if the angel was still mad at him? What if he didn't want to come back to Dean yet? What if he never came back again?

Dean started to cry. At first it was just a couple of small tears trickling down his cheeks, but by the time Dean choked out a desperate, "Cas," he was full on sobbing.

As with the last time Dean had called the angel when he was crying, Cas was by his side and hugging him before Dean even finished the summons.

"Oh sweetheart," Cas said softly. "Whatever happened baby?

"I had an accident," Dean forced out. "I thought I could last until the end of my show, but I was wrong. It was too late, and I couldn't help it. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about before and I'm sorry about this. It's all my fault."

"Shh," Cas whispered to the gasping human. "It's ok, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault." Cas didn't believe for a moment that Dean had truly experienced a loss of bladder control with the washroom facilities only ten feet away, but Cas understood that Dean had done it for Cas and for their relationship. If Dean wasn't currently so upset, Cas would have beamed with pleasure. It was the ultimate apology and the most honest display of trust that Dean could have given him.

"I'm the one who should apologize Dean," Cas said softly. "I left out of frustration. I didn't want to say something regretful that would make the situation worse. It was always my plan to come back after I regained my temper. I should have responded to your prayers the first time you called."

"I was stubborn," Dean mumbled. He was crying less now that he was safely wrapped in Cas' arms. There was nowhere else he wanted to be. Everything was perfect, other than his dank pants of course.

"You were mulish as always," Cas said. He smiled to keep the worst of the sting from his words. "I also pushed you too hard though," Cas added. "It was too much too soon for you Dean, and I am sorry for that also."

The two men stood wrapped up in each other for a bit longer, but eventually Cas felt Dean begin to shift from one leg to the next.

You must be so uncomfortable baby," Cas said, inspecting the damage Dean's accident had done. "Are you okay if I get you out of your dirty clothes and we give you a bath?" Cas asked gently. He didn't want to stir the pot too much when he and Dean had just begun to figure things out.

To Castiel's intense pleasure, Dean looked up at him with large, tear-filled eyes and nodded. "Yes please," he whispered.

Cas let go of Dean so he could take Dean's hand and lead the young man to the bathroom. When he did so, Cas noticed that Dean clutched something close to his chest. The object was black, yellow, and soft - the bee. He smiled at the sight. Cas was rarely overcome by emotion, but right now he was filled with a staggering warmth for this stubborn human and his inanimate object. Dean Winchester really did do the oddest things to him.

"Alright little Winchester," Cas said fondly. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

Dean looked up at the angel who had come back for him. He couldn't help himself; Dean leaned forward and gave Cas a tight hug.

 

.........

 

After Dean's bath, during which Castiel had run the water then waited, eyes averted, for Dean to wash himself, Dean lay in bed while Castiel sat beside him and stroked his damp hair. To think he had almost given all of this up.

Before he could fall asleep, Dean remembered one thing. He sat up and looked at Cas seriously. "You forgot my diaper," Dean said.

Cas looked at Dean consideringly. "I didn't think you were ready for it," Cas said slowly. He resisted the impulse to check Dean's thoughts, and instead, Cas waited for Dean to share what was in his mind.

Dean looked down at his bee, which lay on the bed between them, and plucked at his new pyjamas. He had been right. The onesie was ridiculously soft.

Without looking up, Dean whispered, "But I had an accident, Cas."

Cas lifted Dean's chin so the boy had to look him in the eyes. "Do you want a diaper, Dean? You can say 'no'," Cas told him.

Dean hesitated, before shaking his head. Cas didn't fully believe him, but he had realized after their initial debacle that as right as this was for Dean, the hunter would have to grow comfortable with everything in his own time. Pushing things like the diapers, on Dean would just cause more problems.

Instead, Cas just nodded. "Ok," he said. "Why don't we compromise then?"

Dean watched curiously as Cas got up and went back to his bag of supplies. From it he drew something made of blue fabric: kid's underwear, but big enough to fit Dean.

Dean allowed Cas to help him get out of his pyjamas and slide the new garment up his legs. It was surpisingly thick, and Dean blushed when he realized that they were training pants. The bulk between his legs and he softness of the fabric was not unpleasant though, nor was the implication behind the pants themselves. Not that Dean was going to have another accident, but if anything did happen, he was covered, and Cas would be there to take care of everything afterwards.

"Thanks Cas," Dean mumbled when he was all ready for sleep again. He and Cas settled back onto the bed, and Cas resumed stroking Dean's head. It wasn't long before Dean was snoring softly, and Cas was left free to sit and gaze warmly at his young charge.

"I am so proud of you," Cas whispered softly in his deep voice. Predictably, Dean didn't answer, and the angel settled himself to wait out the night. Afterall, there was nowhere else he would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I brought a stuffed bee into it. I don't know what it is about bees, but if someone ever gave me a bee plushie I would absolutely melt. Wouldn't have a goddam chance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have come to an understanding and are as ready as they'll ever be to jump into their new roles. Will Dean be able to fully let go though or will his apprehensions keep him stuck in his adult mindset? Help comes from an unexpected (and unknowing) source.

For the second morning in a row, Dean woke up in the arms of an angel. It really was an amazing feeling. Dean tried to feel sorry for all the suckers who never got to experience this, but he had trouble when he felt so relaxed. 

Cas felt Dean shift and looked down at the boy sporting the fleecy onesie and sleepy smile. 

"Good morning little one," Cas said.

"Morning Cas," Dean mumbled.

"Are you ready to get some breakfast?" 

Dean thought about it for a moment before nodding "yes". He was incredibly comfortable, but breakfast was being offered. The only way this morning could possibly get better would be if Cas could mojo him up a stack of pancakes to eat in bed. 

Cas stood up and then turned around to help Dean, who was lost in a daydream, sit. "And did you manage to stay dry last night?" Castiel asked Dean.

"Cas", Dean yelped, jerked out of his pancake-filled happy place. The combination of surprise and mortification made Dean's voice come out whinier than he intended. 

"Well, you did have an accident yesterday," Cas reminded him. "Besides all little boys wet the bed at some point". Dean groaned. He couldn't argue with Cas' first statement, and the angel knew it. Manipulative bastard. The other point, about all little (little??) boys wetting the bed made Dean's jaw go slack. Did Cas expect him to piss the bed? Probably. And sure, the idea was nerve-wracking, but not repulsive. And that was the problem, wasn't it. The notion should have been disgusting. Dean shook his head to clear it. Today he just wanted to enjoy himself with Cas. No more thinking. Analyzing this hadn't done him any favors so far.

While Dean was lost in his thoughts, Cas started to reach for Dean's zipper, so he could check Dean's status for himself. Dean felt hands on him, and instantly he was back.

"OK OK," said Dean. "I'm not wet." 

"That's wonderful, sweetheart," Cast said. "I'm so proud of you for staying dry all night."

Dean beamed at the praise. And why not? He did way more impressive stuff all the time and all he got was Bobby calling him an idgit or Sam doing some psychoanalysing bullshit. If Dean could get some appreciation just for doing something he'd been doing every night since he was 3 then he'd take it. Plus there was the fact that Cas' words created a warmth in his stomach that spread up into his chest and finally bloomed out on his freckled cheeks. 

"Now, said Cas, "do you need to use the potty before we have breakfast?" Dean turned even more red. He thought about it for a moment though and then nodded shyly. 

"Off you go then," said Cas. "I'll wait for you just outside the door, and then we'll go get breakfast together." Cas would have liked to take Dean into the bathroom himself, but he figure that until he and Dean lay down some rules, it was best not to push things too quickly. It turned out to be a good plan, since Dean found it hard enough to pee just having Cas outside the door. Dean wasn't shy about peeing in public, but knowing that someone was outside waiting specifically for him, made him clamp right up. It was even worse when that person was Cas. The guy didn't even pee himself, so it wasn't like Dean could try to convince himself that it was a normal thing and everyone did it.

After a few more minutes, Dean was finally able to let go enough that a small trickle escaped, which soon turned into a heavy stream. He really did have to go to the potty. Bathroom. He had to go to the bathroom. Dammit Cas. They had just started this, and already Dean sounded like a four year-old. 

Dean exited the bathroom to find Cas waiting for him, as promised. 

"Did you wash your hands," the angel asked? 

"Mhm," Dean replied. He stalked off towards his suitcase, pretending to be offended by the question and doing his best to hide the little thrill Cas' words brought him.

Cas smiled to himself before following the little Winchester. Castiel didn't need to read Dean's mind to know that the morning was going perfectly. Maybe Dean had only been awake for less than an hour, but after the last two days, Cas would count that as a victory. 

Cas let Dean choose his own clothes and dress himself for that day, but he did notice that Dean didn't leave the room or turn around to change as he normally would have. Dean hesitated when it came to choosing underwear. He stood awkwardly with a pair of boxers in one hand and the dirty trainers in his other. The image epitomized what this whole experience had been for Dean so far.

"Do you want a clean pair of special pants," Cas asked. He was careful to keep his voice neutral, not that being monotone was difficult for Cas usually, but he found that a certain softness came into his voice when he was dealing with his young Dean.

Dean hesitated. In the end though, he shook his head reluctantly and pulled on the boxers. Castiel suppressed a sigh. By the time Dean looked back at him, Cas was ready with a warm smile. 

"Come on then," Cas said to Dean. The angel offered out his hand, and the two men left hand-in-hand. 

As they were walking away from the motel room, Cas noticed Dean seemed a little fidgety. 

"Something on you mind, Little One?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded. He stopped walking and impulsively leaned over to whisper in Cas' ear. "Can we have pancakes?" Dean asked, eyes wide.

Castiel couldn't help it. He gave a throaty chuckle. "Would you like pancakes?"

Dean nodded solemnly.

"Then pancakes it is."

Dean threw his arms around Cas. Realizing where they were though, the hunter jumped back. Dean took a quick look around and, seeing no one, he wrapped his arms sloppily back around his angel.

"If this is all it takes to get a hug out of you, then I'll have to learn where every pancake place is across the country."

Dean smiled. Mmm. Pancakes. 

Cas and Dean continued walking, and they were almost to the car when Dean stopped without warning.

"What's wrong," Cas asked, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"I forgot my bee," Dean said. He trailed off towards the end, but Cas still caught what his little boy was saying. "He's gonna be lonely," Dean added. "Plus he's never been in a motel before. They can be scary at first."

Cas saw an image of Dean as a child, alone in a dingy motel room except for baby Sam. The angel's eyes flashed, but he schooled his expression.

"Are you okay here for a couple of seconds if I go get your bee?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded. He could wait if it meant his bee would come in the car with them. It didn't have to come in the restaurant because Dean knew the Impala would take care of his bee while he was gone. They would get along great. 

Cas disappeared for a few seconds. When he reappeared, Cas had the stuffed toy in his hands. Cas handed the toy to Dean, who looked around nervously. There was nothing to worry about though; Cas and Dean were the only ones in the parking lot. 

When they reached the Impala, Dean automatically got into the driver's seat. Cas said nothing, but watching Dean driving with the stuffed bee on his lap made the angel frown. The image was so wrong. They would have to come with an alternative to Dean driving when they were going somewhere public. Maybe Cas would learn to drive. Now getting Dean to hand over his keys...

Cas' thoughts were interrupted when Dean pulled into a dirt parking lot in front of a small building.

"This okay?" Dean asked.

Cas surveyed the small restaurant. It had four parking spots, all of which were now filled. It didn't look like much from the outside, but looking through the windows, Cas could see the place looked busy enough. "Do they serve pancakes?" he said.

"Real good ones," said Dean. Then he blushed.

"Then it's perfect." Cas smiled and patted Dean on the head before getting out of the car. He watched as Dean carefully placed his bee on one of the backseats. Cas said nothing about the quick kiss the boy gave his toy before jogged around the car to catch up to Cas.

Cas held out his hand. Dean hesitated, but eventually he took it and walked with Cas into the restaurant.

Once they had a table and Cas had ordered for them - much to Dean's embarrassment- he decided it was time to lay out some ground rules for their relationship.

"Like what?" Dean asked, mouth full of pancake. 

"We need a safe word," Cas said. He had done some research as soon as he had seen Dean's desires. Cas wanted to do this for Dean, but only if he was doing it right.

Dean started to laugh. "Cas, that's for bdsm and stuff. No way are you putting on leather pants and coming after me with a riding crop."

"And what if I do something you aren't comfortable with again?" Cas said. He raised his eyebrow.

"Oh right," Dean said. "Fine then, mine will be unicorn."

"Why unicorn?"

Dean shrugged. He didn't want to tell Cas it was because his favourite book when he was a child was about a unicorn. It had been crushing when John told him they didn't exist. Sure ghosts and ghouls and demons were real, but not unicorns. Messed up man. Dean settled on lying instead. It was always safest. "I saw a kid with a unicorn toy the other day. Just came to my head." Dean said casually.

"It should be something meaningful," Cas frowned. "Will you remember that if you need to use it?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dad." As soon as the words were out of his traitorous mouth, Dean clamped his jaw shut.

Thankfully, Cas chose not to acknowledge Dean's slip. "Unicorn it is then," he said instead. "And mine will be wings."

"So what else did you want to talk about Cas," Dean asked. "You said something about rules?"

Castiel nodded. "We can add as we go, but for now my only rule is that unless you decide to safe word out - and you will use your safe word if you get uncomfortable - what I say goes. I won't make you do anything that I think will overly embarrass you or go against your wellbeing."

Dean frowned at the use of "overly", but for the most part he liked Cas' rule. It was simple to follow and it meant that Dean wouldn't have to make decisions for once. Also, if he didn't have to decide how far they were going to take this babying thing, then Dean wouldn't have to feel as guilty for any of the ridiculous things he would likely end up doing.

"Sounds good for a start Cas," Dean said finally.

Cas and Dean finished their pancakes and hit the road. Their conversation returned to normal things, and no more was said about safe words or unicorns or bees.

......................

Life for Dean and Castiel continued nearly normally after that. They went on hunts, stayed in whatever cruddy motels that popped up, and Cas didn't once touch the keys to the Impala.

After they checked into their room at the end of each day, Cas would help Dean undress and run a bath for him. Cas didn't bathe Dean again after the first day. It was a compromise they had reached, that Dean would take a bath and Cas would stay in the bathroom with him in case he needed help, but Dean would bathe himself. Dean also made certain that he never gave Cas any reason to think he might need help. After Dean's bath, Cas would help Dean into a pair of training pants and fleecy pyjamas. Cas would tuck Dean into bed, before getting onto the bed himself so he could stroke Dean's hair until the hunter fell asleep.

Cas would never say he didn't love his time with Dean. He cherished every moment he spent with his boy, but he wanted more. Dean already appeared so much better than when he and Cas had first started this. Besides rarely having nightmares anymore, Dean was more relaxed in general. He joked good-naturedly and smiled often. It was a Dean that Cas hadn't seen for ages. Cas could only imagine what the "full treatment" would accomplish.

It was two weeks after their pancake breakfast, when Dean approached Cas, sporting a huge grin. "I found a hunt," Dean said. "And the best part? It will take us right past Stanford."

"You can visit Sam," Cas finished for him. Cas sighed inwardly. He knew there would be absolutely no instances of young Dean when Sam was around. In fact, this visit could set his plans back. Looking at how excited Dean was though, Cas knew he would never deny Dean time with Sam.

Cas ended up being right. From the moment they met up with Sam, Dean was different. He was more distant. There was no mention of baths, something that Dean had begun to remind Cas of on the rare instance that Cas forgot. Dean's bee was stuffed into the very bottom of his bag, which Cas also chose not to address. The biggest change was in Dean himself though. To anyone else Dean would seem relaxed, but Cas had known Dean well even before he became Cas' boy. Dean was tightly wound from the moment he stepped out of the car.

Even so, Dean and Sam were genuinely having a great time. Eventually, Cas pulled Dean aside while Sam went to the washroom.

"Dean," Cas said. "Gabriel has been requesting a meeting with me for some time now. You seem to be enjoying Sam's company. Would this be a good opportunity for me to go see Gabriel?"

"Cas, if you have stuff to do just go. I don't need a babysitter."

Cas looked at Dean carefully, sensing that he was missing something. Nothing was obviously wrong though, so before Dean could say anything else, Castiel was gone.

Dean felt empty as soon as Cas was gone. Not even a goodbye, he thought morosely.

Thankfully, Sam chose that moment to get back from the bathroom. Although the emptiness was still there, Dean buried it and focused on having fun with his brother.

"Bet you haven't been out in ages, Sammy. Let's take you to go meet some real people instead of those books I know you spend all your time with."

Sam rolled his eyes, but he smiled and let Dean lead the way out.

Sam took Dean to his favourite bar, and it didn't take long before they were both hammered. Dean had a slight moment of guilt when he first realized he was getting buzzed. He was pretty sure that Cas wouldn't like that. It wasn't like Cas was around here though. Stupid angel. Dean picked up his half-empty beer bottle defiantly and chugged the rest.

"Another, Sammy," Dean said as he slammed his bottle against the table.

It was 3 am when Dean stumbled into the room of the hotel where he and Cas were staying. He switched on the lights and stared blearily at the three pissed-off angels waiting for him. No, not three. They were all Cas. Dean groaned. Tomorrow would suck.

"Where were you?" Cas fumed.

"Out with Sam," Dean tried to say. The words sounded like he was trying to talk with a mouth full of gobstoppers.

Cas either understood Dean anyway or just didn't care about his answer. Either way, Cas launched right into his rant. "I was so worried. I called you, you didn't answer. You didn't message me."

Dean checked his pockets. Yupp, phone was gone. "Oops," he said.

Cas stopped short. "Oops?" he said incredulously.

Dean hiccuped, then yawned.

Cas realized he would get no where with Dean that night. "Alright," Cas said. "We'll talk about your punishment tomorrow. For now, it's time for bed." He walked over to Dean, who was now leaning against the wall to support himself.

In the end, picking Dean up and carrying him over to the bed was the easiest option. It only took Cas a couple of tries of removing Dean's shirt to realize that Dean would be of no help to him. Cas thanked his father for his strength, picked Dean up, and laid him out on the bed. With little help from an almost passed-out Dean, Cas managed to get him into his "special pants" and his pyjamas. Dean was snoring softly by the time Cas finished, and Cas went to wait out the night in a chair, rather than his usual spot on the bed. Cas was still furious with Dean, and he needed some space.

It was still dark out when Dean woke up. He did a cautious mental check to see how bad the hangover was going to be. Still drunk, he thought to himself, and stifled a laugh. He didn't feel like dealing with a pissy angel right then. After only a moment, Dean realized why he had woken up; he had to pee. All Dean wanted to do was sleep. He didn't want to have to get out of the warm bed, deal with the onesie Cas had apparently put him in, or worse yet, deal with the angel himself. Thinking of the onesie though, brought another option to mind. Cas put him in training pants every night, and training pants were made with one purpose in mind. Besides, hadn't Cas said that all little boys wet the bed sometimes? Clearly Cas expected Dean to have an accident in his sleep at some point. Weird, but whatever.

That was all the reassurance Dean needed. He focused as well as his mind was capable of, and soon Dean felt the wonderful sensation of warmth spreading around his genitals and bum. Dean stopped himself when he felt the pee begin to trickle down between his bum cheeks, but the training pants seemed to be doing their job. With a happy sigh, Dean released everything in his bladder. He stayed awake long enough to feel the warm wetness sink in to the fabric surrounding his bum, his back, and his legs, before he fell deeply asleep.

The next time Dean woke up, it was bright outside. He looked immediately around for Cas when he didn't feel the angel's weight beside him. Cas was sitting in a chair with his eyes closed. Dean knew he wasn't sleeping, but it was nice to see Cas looking so peaceful.

Dean shifted to sit up, but he stopped moving almost as soon as he started. He was wet. So were his underwear, pyjamas, and sheets. The previous night came flooding back to him all at once, and Dean felt himself start to panic. What had he been thinking? Well obviously he hadn't been. Goddam beer. Dean took some deep breaths. He had to think about this calmly and come up with a plan. If he could face down Lucifer he could deal with a wet bed ferChrissake. Clearly the training pants hadn't held everything like he thought they would, and now he was in a soaked bed with a, likely still angry, angel.

Dean shuddered. He was drawing a blank on this one. Not only that, as more time passed, Dean was starting to get cold and itchy. He wanted so badly for Cas to notice and come take care of things. His angel said he would fix stuff for Dean. Dean was uncomfortable, hungover, and he didn't even have his bee. Why wasn't Cas fixing it?

Dean felt tears prick his eyes. Not gonna cry, he thought to himself. He repeated it like a mantra. Finally Dean was feeling too icky to bear. There was no way he could deal with this without Cas seeing. He really wanted the angel's help, and Cas had never made fun of him before...

Dean gathered his resolve. "Cas-" he said. Or at least he meant to say. As soon as Dean opened his mouth the tears started flowing down his cheeks, and Cas' name came out in a quiver.

Immediately the angel opened his eyes. "Dean?" he said in confusion. He expected Dean would be hurting today, but Dean wouldn't sound like that over a hangover. That voice definitely belonged to little Dean, a little Dean whose world was ending.

Cas rushed over to the bed and pulled Dean against him in a hug. It took next to know time for Cas to realize what happened. The smell of urine hung around the bed and his little boy. "Shh, sweetheart," Cas said. "I'm here."

"Please fix it," Dean whispered.

"Of course baby." Cas stopped rubbing Dean's back, and picked him up so that Dean's legs were wrapped around his waste, and Dean's head leaned against his shoulder.

Dean moaned when he saw the soiled bed.

"Shh," Cas soothed. "It's not your fault. All little boys have nighttime accidents sometimes." Cas decided this wasn't the best time to mention it, but he would be buying plastic-backed pull-ups for Dean to wear to bed from now on. Last night was likely just the result of the alcohol, but Cas never wanted to see his baby this upset again.

Dean burrowed his head deeper into Cas' shoulder, and let Cas carry him into the bathroom. Cas turned on the bathtub's tap and waited for the water to warm up. His own shirt was wet now, but he would deal with that later. Dean was finally letting Cas take care of him, and Cas was not going to waste the opportunity.

"Do you need to use the potty before your bath, baby?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded yes, so Cas put up the toilet seat for him and helped Dean get out of his wet clothes. It wasn't until after Dean had finished peeing that Cas realized that Dean hadn't asked him to leave the room.

When the tub was full, Cas supported Dean while he stepped in. It was time for Castiel to see how far he could take this. He picked up a washcloth, got some soap on it, and began to rub gentle circles around Dean's back. Instead of sending Cas away, Dean leaned forward to make more of his back accessible. Cas continued on to Dean's arms and legs. With each passing moment, Dean seemed to relax further, until the effects of last night's fight and the morning's trauma were all but gone.

Dean's favourable response encouraged Cas to keep going once he had washed all the completely innocent places he could. He moved slowly as he brought the washcloth to Dean's chest, but Dean didn't push him away or use his safe word. When Cas looked up, Dean's eyes were closed and a pleased smile was plastered on his face.

"Dean," Cas said, raising him from his reverie. Cas hated to ruin the moment, but it wouldn't be fair to Dean if he didn't ask. "Do you want to wash your privates yourself?"

Dean blushed and mumbled so quietly that only an angel could have heard. "You," he said.

"Sure baby," Cas smiled.

When Cas had finished washing Dean, he left his boy to relax in the water a bit longer, while he went back out to the main room. Cas magic-ed everything clean so that Dean wouldn't be confronted by it when he got out. There was no point in undoing all the good the bath had done.

Cas went back to the bathroom to collect Dean. When he and a towel-clad little boy went back to the bedroom, Dean saw what Cas had done. "Thank you, Cas. For everything," he said.

Cas looked at Dean fondly. "I'll always fix it, baby."

There was still the small matter of punishment for last night, but that could wait until later.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean felt a million times better after his bath with Cas. Guilt for his actions the previous night still niggled at the corners of his mind though. He was desperate to let go of the unpleasant feelings and forget everything, so when Cas led him to the couch and proceeded to lay down with him, Dean didn't protest. There was something undeniably calming about Cas' warm presence behind him. Dean had spent his whole life being alert and conscious of what was going on in his environment. After years of hypervigilence, Dean could finally let himself relax. Few things could get past Castiel.

When Dean and Cas were positioned comfortably on the hotel room couch, Cas picked the remote up from the nearby table and turned on the TV. It was CSI, boring, but acceptable for background noise. Instead of leaving the channel on though, Cas murmured something that sounded like "too scary" and began channel surfing. Dean groaned when Cas finally settled on a kid's station. He was about to complain, but all of a sudden Dean felt a firm hand begin to rub up and down his back. And didn't that feel amazing. Without meaning to, Dean let his protest die unsaid and snuggled closer to the angel. It wasn't long before Dean felt his breathing even out and his eyelids grow heavy. As he drifted off to sleep, Dean realized that he never wanted the moment to end.

When Dean awoke he was still on the couch, and Cas was still behind him. Dean wasn't sure how long he had been out, but it was long enough for a new cartoon to be finishing up.

"Hello, sleepyhead," Cas said gently.

"Mmm," Dean mumbled.

Cas began stroking Dean's head and running his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean could have laid there forever. Unfortunately, Dean's bladder had different ideas. It twinged at him, demanding Dean's notice. Dean decided he could wait though. Cas' hands felt way to good, and the couch was far too comfortable.

Whether Cas read his thoughts or not, Dean wasn't sure, but it was only a couple minutes later before Cas was asking, "Dean, do you need the potty."

"No," Dean answered without hesitation. Need was subjective, right? Dean could wait longer, and if he could wait then he technically didn't need the washroom, right? Despite himself, Dean wiggled a little.

The hand in Dean's hair stopped moving for a moment. Dean was certain Cas was staring at the back of his head. "Are you sure?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded firmly, and to his relief Cas let the matter drop. With that settled, Dean snuggled back into the couch and turned his attention to the TV. A new show had just begun: Animaniacs. Dean could remember watching that as a kid. Whenever they stayed in a motel with cable, Dean and Sammy would lay in bed together and watch cartoons for hours. TV was a huge treat back then.

Dean didn't even notice when he became engrossed in the show. Animaniacs was brilliant at any age. It was too bad that Cas didn't get most of the jokes, but maybe that was for the better. Dean recalled Cas thinking CSI was too scary. If the angel understood Dot's joke about "finger Prince", Dean expected he wouldn't still be watching.

After a while, Dean's shifting began to get on Cas' nerve. The boy obviously had to pee, so why was he ignoring it? Each time there was an advertisement, Cas expected Dean to get up and go, but Dean seemed content to stay put.

Finally, Cas put his foot down. "Dean," Cas said, "the show is on a break, so it's the perfect time for you to go use the potty."

Dean grumbled something unintelligible and snuggled down deeper against Cas. Thankfully, Dean was facing away from Castiel, because Cas couldn't help but smile at the action. He would have to get better at resisting Dean if he was going to be a father figure.

"Now Dean," Cas said firmly. He gave the boy a little push. "I promise I'll still be here when you have finished."

With that reassurance, Dean finally got off the couch and stumbled towards the bathroom. As promised, when Dean got back, Cas was seated on the couch, waiting for him. Cas opened his arms, and Dean came right over and lay down with his head in Cas' lap. Cas resumed stroking Dean's hair, and the boy went back to giggling at the TV. Cas couldn't honestly say that he saw the appeal, but if Dean was happily watching a children's show, then Cas was content to leave it be.

Early afternoon had arrived by the time that Cas switched off the TV. Dean was relaxed, fed, and had received Advil for his hangover; now it was time to address the previous night.

Dean looked up from his position in Cas' lap. His eyes were wide as he waited for Cas to tell him what they were doing next.

"We need to talk now, Dean," Cas said.

Dean flinched, but he took control of himself again quickly. Cas watched with a mixture of fascination and disappointment as he saw Dean school his expression into one of casual disinterest and sit back up in a relaxed, almost cocky pose. He was Dean Winchester again, just like that, and Cas missed his little Dean.

"What now Cas," Dean asked.

"It's time we talk about your punishment for last night," Cas said resolutely.

Dean grimaced. "Look Cas, I said I was sorry. I didn't mean to do what I did to the bed. Can we just never talk about it again? I'll make it up to you somehow."

Cas looked at Dean in confusion for a moment before realization hit. He leaned forward and hugged his boy as he said, "Oh Dean, you have nothing to apologize for with that. We already went over that. And I will never punish you for wetting the bed."

"Then what-" Dean started to ask, as he pulled away from Cas' arms. His face was red with embarrassment, but Cas was far from finished with their talk.

"Dean, you are going to be punished because you didn't let me know where you were going or when you would be back. You had me worried sick. Anything could have happened and I would have no way of knowing. Not only that, you didn't respond to my phone calls."

"I lost my phone," Dean said dejectedly. He shuffled his feet guiltily. Worrying Cas was the last thing Dean had wanted.

"So you said, but that doesn't mean you don't find a way to get in touch. Next time borrow Sam's phone."

Dean nodded. "Sorry," he said.

"I know you are, baby," said Cas, "but we still need something to make the lesson stick."

Dean waited silently for Cas to continue. He had experienced all manner of "punishments" in the past, from Mary's gentle scolding, to John's tongue lashing, to Alastair's special brand of torment. Dean could take whatever the angel lay on him. He was not expecting what finally came out of Cas' mouth though.

"Corner time," Castiel said.

Dean just gaped at him. "I'm sorry, what now?"

"You will stand in the corner facing the wall, until I tell you that you can move," Cas said.

"Yah, I get the concept Cas, but that's for kids."

Cas shrugged. "It is the punishment I am giving you Dean, and you agreed to do whatever I say." Cas paused. He didn't want to mention Dean's other option in case the hunter decided to take the out, but it was only fair. "You can always say your safe word."

Dean didn't need to hesitate when he shook his head "no". However weird his thing with Cas was, it wasn't something he was ready to give up. Besides, if he took Cas' punishment, however odd it may be, Dean could stop feeling guilty about making Cas worry.

"Alright then," Cas said, "into the corner until I say you can come out. I want you to think about what you did wrong while you are in there."

Dean walked to where Cas pointed and stood facing the wall. It was Dean's every intention when he accepted Cas' punishment to just let his mind wander and hopefully have the time fly by. Unfortunately, the angel's stupid plan worked better than expected. Dean found the only thoughts that came to him were of how unfair he had been to Cas the other night. How the angel was putting up with so much of Dean's shit to look after him, and he was doing whatever he could to make things even harder on Cas. How easy it would have been for Dean to send a quick text with Sam's phone. God he was a class A douchebag. What if Cas got sick of him? What if this was just the start of the end? Dean always found a way to ruin good things, why should this be any different.

It was at that moment that Dean realized he hadn't heard Cas in awhile. It wasn't like Castiel was loud, but that was the problem, wasn't it. With his angel mojo, Cas could swoop in and out without Dean being any the wiser. Dean had an almost irresistible urge to turn around and make sure Cas was still in the room, but if Cas was still there he would be pissed if Dean moved from his corner. Dean did his best to stand still and not think, but the hotel's wallpaper loomed in front of him. It reminded Dean of all those motels over the years, when John had slipped out at night, leaving Dean alone with Sam for days at a time. Oh God. Dean's breathing hitched. Cas was gone and he was never coming back. Dean would stand there in the corner waiting to be told to turn around for hours before he would finally look back and realize that Cas had left long ago. He knew it wasn't rational; that wasn't Cas, but Dean couldn't break out of the thoughts of abandonment that kept cycling through his head.

Dean must have made a noise, because next thing he knew, Cas was by his side, rubbing his back. "Are you okay, Sweetheart?"

"You're still here," Dean said, still facing his corner.

The surprise and relief in his boy's voice broke Cas' heart. He turned Dean around to face him. "Of course I'm still here. I would never leave without telling you."

Dean nodded, but his eyes were still suspiciously bright and he was trembling like a leaf. "Come on, baby boy," Cas said. "I think you've spent enough time in the corner. Before Cas took Dean over to the couch for cuddles though, he made sure to ask, "Do you know why I was punishing you, Dean?"

"Because I didn't tell you where I was and made you worry," Dean said softly.

Cas nodded. "Good boy. And what will I never do?"

"Leave without telling me," Dean whispered.

"Exactly," Cas agreed. He scooped Dean up in his arms and walked them over to the couch. It was a bit awkward because of Dean's height, but Cas' strength made up for that. He deposited Dean on the couch, then sat down beside his boy. Cas pulled Dean over to him and rubbed his back as he had discovered Dean liked. The body against him was still trembling, but Dean was gradually relaxing into Cas' warmth.

Cas could feel Dean starting to drift, and he was about to suggest an early bedtime, when one of Dean's alternative cellphones rang. Cas called it over to them, and let Dean answer.

"It's Sam," Dean said after a moment. "He wants to know if we want to go get dinner tonight before we leave town tomorrow."

Dean's eyes were pleading with Cas to let him go. It was obvious that his boy was exhausted from a late night and traumatic day, but Cas knew it might be awhile before the brothers saw each other again. He nodded so that Sam wouldn't hear him granting Dean permission to go. Dean's nodded his head and told Sam, with a huge smile on his face, that they would see Sam in thirty.

Dean hauled himself up from the couch to start getting ready. "I will let you and Sam enjoy yourselves," Cas said as he followed after Dean in case Dean needed his help. "I will meet again with Gabriel. We have unfinished business from last night."

As soon as Cas spoke, there was an almost imperceptible shift in Dean. It was the same as Cas had noticed the previous night. Cas had ignored it then, but after how disastrously that evening had turned out, Cas was not about to discount the change in Dean again. "What's wrong?" Cas asked.

Dean shrugged. As Cas was about to press the issue though, Dean spoke. Dean kept his eyes on his shuffling feet as he said, "What if you don't come back? I'd miss you and stuff."

"Why wouldn't I come back, Dean?"

Dean shrugged. "Cause you could be in Heaven with Gabriel and the other angels instead of stuck doing this stuff with me."

Cas sighed, but quickly explained when he saw the hurt look on Dean's face. "I just don't know how to make you see that I'm not stuck with you, Dean. I chose to be here, and I haven't yet regretted it. Heaven could never compare to this." Cas ruffled Dean's hair, letting his words sink in.

Dean nodded slowly. "You promise you'll tell me if you ever want to stop? Not just leave?"

Cas suppressed another sigh. "I promise," he said instead.

Dean smiled, apparently content with that reassurance. It wasn't ideal; Cas would rather Dean believe that Cas would never never leave him at all, but if that promise provided Dean comfort, it would do for now.

Cas put a hand on Dean's back and led him towards his small assortment of clothing. "What would you like to wear tonight?" Cas asked.

Dean pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, that Cas supposed would do for whatever pub the boys ended up going to. Dean made no protest when Cas helped him get undressed, although he did blush heavily when his boxers came off. However, Dean was less than complacent when Cas pulled out a pair of training pants instead of the clean underwear that Dean had put aside.

"What the hell, Cas? It's not bedtime," Dean said. And when had it become okay for him to wear training pants ever?

"Language, Dean," Cas said firmly. Cas cut off Dean's sputter. "I think it will be good for you to have these on when you go out. It will remind you that you are to keep in touch with me and to come how at a reasonable hour." After a moment's thought Cas clued in to part of what was likely bothering Dean. "They are thin Dean, no one will know you are wearing them," he said gently.

Dean finally sighed and nodded. He leaned on Cas for support as the angel helped him into his "special pants" and the rest of his clothes.

When Dean was fully dressed he inspected himself carefully in the bathroom mirror. Cas was right, there was nothing to indicate he was wearing anything out of the ordinary under his jeans. With that comforting realization and Cas' reassurance that he would be waiting for Dean in the hotel when Dean got back, the hunter headed out to see Sam.

.........................

Castiel agreed to meet his brother on the condition that Gabriel came to the hotel room. There was no way that Cas would risk not being there to welcome Dean when the boy got home. Gabe grumbled, but he gave in without much fight. Cas was fairly certain that Gabriel just liked having something to "bitch about", as Dean would say.

"Hey Cassie," Gabriel said when he appeared out of thin air. "Where's Dean-o?"

"Out with Sam," Cas replied.

"I thought the whole point of meeting in this charming establishment was so you didn't have to leave your pet?"

Cas glanced around. The hotel was much better than his normal accommodations when he shared with Dean, but this was Gabriel after all. The archangel liked his luxury. Cas settled on dealing with Gabriel as he normally did, by ignoring him. "What do you want?" Cas asked.

"Alright, fine, skip the pleasantries," Gabriel said, snapping up two drinks. He offered one to Cas, but the other angel waved it off. Shrugging, Gabriel waved the second glass away and took a sip of his own.

"It's like I told you last night, Cassie. I need help," Gabriel said. "Heaven is a shit-storm right now, and Raph is becoming a royal pain in my ass."

"And what has that to do with me?" Castiel asked.

Gabe looked hurt. "You're my brother. I'm turning to you in my time of need."

Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," the archangel said. "I need someone up there I can trust. It's going to take all of my attention to deal with Raphael. I can't have another radical metaphorically sneaking up on me while I'm occupied. You're boring. I can trust you."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry Gabriel. You'll have to find someone else."

"First, no you're not," said Gabe. "Secondly, this is about Dean, isn't it? What does Winchester need you for so badly that you can't leave for a couple of days... or decades?"

Cas shook his head. "No, Gabriel."

Gabe frowned. "I can't read your mind, but your pet is an open book. I will find out what's going on, Cassie." With that Gabriel was gone.

Cas sighed and took a swig of the drink that his brother had left behind. Wonderful. All he needed was for Gabe to find out what he was doing with Dean. Gabriel wouldn't care, Cas knew. After millennia of debauchery, little scandalized Gabe anymore. Dean however, would be mortified if the archangel ever found out. Perhaps a bigger problem was that as much as Gabriel liked to complain, Cas knew he wasn't exaggerating the problem in Heaven. If things stayed that bad it would be hard to say "no" to going back. As much as Dean was his world, Dean's world could crumble if Cas let Heaven fall apart as spectacularly as Gabriel said it was. Cas rubbed his eyes. Nothing was ever simple. Cas sat down on the couch with his drink to wait for Dean.

...............................

Dean came back to the hotel after a great evening out with Sam. They had managed to find a bar where Sam could get him rabbit food and Dean could get a burger. Sam thought the hamburger looked a little pink, but Dean brushed him off. It was just the lighting, and that burger was freaking delicious.

Even after the great time that Dean had with his brother, the best part of Dean's night was getting back to the hotel room and finding Cas waiting for him. Dean couldn't stop the huge smile that spread over his face. That tiny nagging doubt that had been at the back of Dean's mind all night was permanently squashed with one look at Cas and his outstretched arms.

Dean walked quickly - not ran - to Cas and settled down on the couch with his angel. He was content enough that he didn't even complain when Cas suggested an early bedtime.

Dean's complacency wavered when Cas helped him dress for bed. From inside the dinosaur bag, Cas pulled a pair of underwear Dean hadn't seen before. They were different from his - no, not his - the training pants. Unlike the training pants, these were all plastic. They crinkled as Cas unfolded them.

"No way," Dean said.

"Dean," Cas sighed.

"I don't need a diaper," Dean whined.

"But it's not a diaper, Sweetheart," Cas said. "It's a pull-up".

Dean snorted. "Oh, well that's much better then."

"Your training pants leaked the other night," Cas reasoned. "I don't want you to wake up soaked again."

"It was a one time thing, Cas. It won't happen again."

After his conversation with Gabriel, Cas was too tired for an argument. "Please do it for me," he said.

Dean's face crumpled. Cas had him there. Bastard.

Dean didn't say anything, but he lifted a foot so that Cas could slip one leg hole on, then the other. He held is breath as Cas slid the pull-ups up his legs. When the garment was fully on, Dean released a sigh. It actually wasn't that bad. Dean would never admit it to Cas, but the pull-up was kind of nice. Sure it crinkled when he moved, and that sucked. Otherwise though, it was warm and comfy. The thing was goddam soothing. Go fucking figure.

Dean was silent as Cas led him to bed and tucked him in. The angel didn't press Dean. Cas didn't have to read his boy's thoughts to understand what Dean was working through. Dean's blissful, then confused, then guilty expression had said it all.

Cas rubbed Dean's hair as had become their nightly ritual, and it didn't take long before Dean's breathing evened out, and he fell fast asleep.

Only a few hours later, Cas was drawn from his thoughts by a shifting Dean. Dean was usually a still sleeper, but in the past half hour he had become increasingly fidgety. Cas rubbed Dean's head again, which calmed him for a bit. Soon though, Dean was tossing and turning again. Little whimpers began to escape from him.

Cas was just wondering if he should wake Dean up so that his boy could fall back into a restful sleep, when Dean sat bolt upright. "Cas-" he said. That strangled word was all the warning Castiel had before Dean was violently sick all over himself, his bee, Cas, and the bed.

Cas quickly recovered from his surprise and rubbed Dean's back as the boy retched. "It's ok, sweetie," he said. "Just get it out. There's a good boy."

"Cas," Dean moaned when he finally had a moment to get some air.

"It's ok baby," Cas said. He had never felt as useless as he did then. Poor Dean was miserable, and as much as Cas could fix a broken arm with a touch of his fingers, he couldn't do anything about this. It felt different somehow, and Cas had the horrifying realization that Dean would just have to ride out whatever it was. How did human parents do it?

There was one thing Cas could do though, and as soon as Dean stopped vomiting long enough, Cas magic-ed away Dean's mess.

"Thanks," Cas' boy mumbled. Dean was already starting to fall back asleep. Cas gently helped Dean lay back down on the bed, and stroked Dean's sweaty hair back from his forehead.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Dean was getting restless again. Cas noticed Dean's feet starting to rub back and forth, then Dean was throwing the blankets off, then pulling them back on.

"Dean baby, are you going to be sick again?" Cas asked.

Dean looked at Cas, ashamed. "Maybe," he said.

"It's okay baby, it's not your fault. You just have to let me know so I can take care of you," Cas said.

Dean shook his head. "It's all my fault," he said. "Sam said the burger looked bad, but I ate it anyway."

Cas didn't have a chance to try to convince Dean otherwise, because all of a sudden, Dean turned very pale. Sweat broke out on his forehead and his lips clamped shut. Cas had just enough time to call over a garbage bin before Dean was throwing up again.

"Daddy," Dean managed before he gagged some more. "Fix it. Please."

Dean seemed completely unaware of what he had said, and Cas wasn't about to draw attention to it. Not when that was the word he had been waiting to hear for weeks. If only it wasn't under such awful circumstances.

When Dean seemed to be finished, Cas mojo-ed up a glass of water, which he offered to Dean. Dean downed it gratefully. It was only seconds though before the water came right back up, with the small remnants of Dean's supper. It was a particularly intense vomiting session, and Dean clung to the waste basket desperately, moaning whenever he had air. Cas kept up a litany of reassurances.

It was a testament to how worried the angel was that he didn't notice the smell sooner. Cas almost groaned when he did. Poor Dean. As if the boy needed to feel any worse right now. Cas waited until Dean had worn himself out and was done throwing up before he gently picked up his boy, being careful not to put any pressure on Dean's browned pull-up. If Dean was too out of it to realize what had happened then that was all for the better. Cas was just grateful that he had chosen that night to switch Dean out of the cloth training pants. Carefully, Cas carried Dean to the washroom. Ideally, he would have given Dean a bath, but Cas didn't think Dean would be up for that right now. It could wait until Dean was feeling a bit better. Instead, Cas used his magic to clean Dean up, before tugging a clean pull-up up Dean's legs.

Throughout the whole ordeal, Dean just lay against Cas with his eyes closed. He was shaking uncontrollably, but he had also broken out in a sweat. Cas carried Dean back to bed and tucked him in, but only moments later, Dean was kicking the blankets off.

"Hot," he mumbled between chattering teeth.

Cas didn't argue even though it was obvious Dean's body was cold. Father, Cas wished he could fix this as Dean had pleaded he do.

Cas wasn't sure what brought the idea to his head, but he remembered watching a mother sing to her baby on a park bench one evening. Something had resonated within Cas, and he had longed to hum a lullaby to Dean that night. Of course, at the time it would have been pushing Dean too far, but now it seemed right. The words needed to be changed of course. What child needed a diamond ring, brass or otherwise?

Cas took a breath and, thinking back to Dean calling him "Daddy" earlier, sang, "Hush little bee now don't say a word, Daddy's gonna brighten up your whole wide world. If you ever need me, with you I'll be. So sleep now Dean, my little bumblebee".

A small smile formed on Dean's face, although how much he knew of what was happening was anybody's guess. Dean still shivered, but some of the tension left his body as he drifted into sleep. Thank goodness, because Cas didn't think he could take too much more of watching Dean suffer like that.

Unfortunately for both Cas and Dean, sleep didn't ever last long for Dean that night. He drifted in and out of consciousness, often roused by frantic dreams that left him sweating and calling out for Cas. Cas didn't move from Dean's side the entire night. He rubbed Dean's back and sang his song again and again until Dean fell back to sleep for a bit. Whenever his little boy slept, Cas would change his pull-up and clean the bucket. The less work that Dean was aware of Cas doing, the less traumatic it would be for Cas' boy later.

When Dean had gone a few hours without getting sick, Cas decided it was time to try some water again. "Dean," Cas said softly, as he gently rubbed Dean's shoulder. "You need to wake up for a moment, baby."

Dean mumbled unintelligibly.

"Come on, you need some water. I'm sure you're dehydrated." Cas managed to get Dean propped up into a semi seated position. He held a glass to Dean's mouth, but only a little bit of liquid got between Dean's lips; the rest dribbled down his front uselessly. Dean was still too out of it for that.

Cas smiled tightly. He conjured up one of the sippy cups he had in storage for when Dean was finally ready. It would be perfect now. Cas transferred some water into the cup, screwed the lid on tightly, and held the spout to Dean's lips.

Dean didn't even open his eyes, but subconsciously he seemed to get the idea, as he started sucking down some of the liquid. Cas was careful not to let Dean drink too much too quickly this time. He stopped Dean after only a few sips. Ten minutes later, Dean still had not thrown up again to Cas' relief.

"Ok sweetheart, you can lie down again," Cas said. He lowered Dean gently back to the bed.

Dean rolled over so that his head was resting in Cas' lap, and he used the hand that wasn't holding his bee to grasp onto Cas' pants. "Thank you, Daddy," he said sleepily.

Cas was sure his heart was going to burst as he looked down at his little man. "Go to sleep, little bumblebee," he said with a smile. And that's just what Dean did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full props to CaptainCrush119 for both the idea of and lyrics to Cas' lullaby. It was an incredibly sweet idea and had to be worked in.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean awoke the next morning with memories of last night's dreams still in his head. For once they didn't make him nauseous with fear though. These dreams had been pleasant. Cas held Dean in his arms, as though Dean were the size of a real baby. "Daddy," Dean giggled with a smile, and Cas beamed down at him as if Dean were the most precious thing the world. 

As his dream faded, Dean remembered that he was supposed to be sick. He took careful stock of his system. No longer was Dean shivering, nor did he feel like his stomach was trying to escape out his mouth. One thing Dean was aware of though, was his bladder. It was very full, probably from all the water Cas had made him drink anytime Dean woke up through the night. Dean thought about getting up, but he was so comfortable. Besides, he had been using his pull-up the entire previous day. Cas never complained, nor did he give any impression that he resented changing Dean. If anything, Cas seemed to savour those moments. It may have been the haze that was filling Dean's head, but Castiel seemed tender during those moments. Dean mentally shrugged. He was tired, and honestly, after all the times Cas had changed him yesterday when he thought Dean was asleep, why not increase the count by one more. Dean relaxed and within seconds he was filling the pull-up with warm urine. It felt amazing. But that was just in comparison with the sticky messes Dean had been making all yesterday, right?

Dean thought he had been stealthy, but only moments after he finished peeing, he felt a gentle touch tugging the leg opening of his pull-up aside to feel for wetness. Damn, only a ninja would get anything by Cas. Dean pretended to be asleep as he was lifted and carried over to the small changing mat that Cas had left set up on the floor yesterday. There was no way Dean was going to admit that he had peed while he was awake. Whether Cas minded or not, Dean still had at least a bit of a reputation to uphold. 

As Cas finished up the gentle changing by powdering Dean and tugging a fresh pull-up up his legs, Dean pretended to rub his eyes sleepily. He gave a little "hmm" as he stretched. Dean could be damn cute if he wanted to be. 

"Hello, little one," Cas said softly. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yah, Ca-" Dean watched Cas' face fall. "Daddy," he said instead. 

Cas' smile was as bright as any sunshine. Dean knew the angel had learned to feel lots of things, but he had never seen so much expression on Cas' face. "Do you think you can handle breakfast, baby?"

Dean shrugged noncommittally. "Dunno," he said honestly. He shifted against the changing mat, which was beginning to stick to the bare skin of his back. "Daddy, you can take the pull-up off. I'm awake now." It wasn't so much that Dean wanted it off, but it would be even weirder than it already was if he didn't at least put forward a bit of objection. 

"Dean," Cas said gently. "You've been sick, and you're probably still not at 100 percent. I think it would be best if you left it on for today. Depending on how it goes we can discuss this again tomorrow."

Dean pouted a bit, but he didn't object further. There was a fine line between protesting enough that Cas would try to convince him to wear the pull-up and objecting so much that Cas decided it wasn't worth the fight. 

When Dean remained quiet, Cas lifted him up from the change mat by his armpits. Cas carried Dean to the motel room's couch and left him stretched out on the sofa with cartoons on and a bucket beside his head, just in case. Cas returned only a moment later with a piece of buttered toast and some juice. Dean was cool with the toast, but the sippy cup he wasn't so sure about. This whole thing was so confusing. Dean didn't know anymore what he wanted but felt he shouldn't ask for, as opposed to what things actually turned him off. It seemed like everything he and Cas did led, on the one hand, to warmth and comfort, but just as frequently, caused him nearly unmanageable shame. 

Dean couldn't help himself. Next thing he knew, he was thinking back to a morning twenty plus years ago in a motel room far dingier than the one in which he currently was. 

_Dean had woken up from a nightmare. He had them frequently at that time; whenever Dean closed his eyes, Mary Winchester burned brightly, horrifically above him. That particular morning, a storm had been raging outside when Dean awoke in a panic. Tree branches scraped against the windows, and despite it being 10am in the summer, the sky was so dark it could have been night. John had been gone for days and had a hunter friend occasionally checking in on his boys. All alone, with only baby Sam and his nightmares for company, Dean did the only think he could think of. He hid._

_John came home to find a wailing Sam, stuck in the borrowed crib and a dirty diaper. His oldest son was nowhere to be seen. After checking the closet in a fury, John peered underneath the bed. There was Dean, curled up in a ball, thumb in his mouth._

_"Dean Winchester," John growled. "You get your ass out here right now."_

_Dean moved quickly to obey. He stood shaking before John's iron gaze. Staring him in the eyes, Dean's father looked down at him with a frown so disappointed that it bordered on a sneer._

_"What did I tell you when I left?" John said._

_Dean wiggled his toes in his socks, but he kept his eyes on John. Losing eye contact was worse. "Look after Sammy," Dean said ashamedly._

_"And instead you hid," said John. "You're Sam's big brother, Dean. It's time you grew up. Family is everything. There are dangers out there, and you have to be ready to face them. You can't hide under the bed forever. If a real monster comes, a bed won't protect you. You need to be standing there, waiting to face whatever comes at you."_

_"Yes, sir," Dean said as bravely as he could._

_John nodded, then he turned, picked up Sammy, and went to the bathroom to get his youngest son cleaned up. Dean's father didn't speak to him when he finished; instead, he deposited the baby in Dean's arms and headed out to debrief with some other hunters._

_When John got back that evening, he gathered every remnant of Dean's childhood into a black plastic bag. The next day, John, Dean, and Sam left for the next motel in the next town for the next hunt; the bag went into the dumpster behind the motel parking lot. Dean never saw his things again._

Dean shivered and opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized they were closed. 

"Unicorn," he whispered.

Cas almost dropped the sippy cup, as if it burned. He recovered himself though and deliberately placed the cup on the coffee table.

Cas' voice was steady when he addressed Dean, but the angel's hands were shaking.

"What's wrong," Cas asked.

Dean searched the angel's face, but there was no anger there, only concern.

"I don't know," Dean said honestly. "I just don't know how to feel about any of this." Dean's face burned, but he wanted to tell Cas the worst, to get it off his chest. "I was awake when I pissed this morning," he said. Dean couldn't bring himself to say 'in the pull-up'.

"I know," Cas said.

Dean sputtered, and Cas chuckled at the look on Dean's face. There was not much mirth in that laugh though. 

"Dean," Cas said. "If it takes me a millennium, I will convince you that the only person who has a problem with this you. Why can't you let yourself have this?"

Dean shrugged. He could guess, but the last thing he wanted to do was get all psycho-analysie and crap. It would be so much easier just to show Cas. The angel had a crazy case of the weird and wonderful magic happening. Why not make use of it? 

Dean took Cas' hand and touched the angel's fingers to his forehead. He had no idea how this worked, but he tried to push the thoughts he wanted Cas to see to the front of his mind. 

"Oh Dean," Cas said a moment later. "I've been trying to let you come to me on your own time. I'm sorry. I should have looked to see what was bothering you."

"Nah," Dean shrugged, "I'm glad you didn't. Would've just been pissed at you."

"Do you trust me?" Cas asked.

"We've been over this Cas. You know I'd trust you with anything," Dean said.

"Then trust me with this. Give it two weeks. Just go with whatever I give you to do. Don't analyze it or think about if it's something you should or shouldn't want. For now, it's something you are being told to do. After those two weeks, if you don't like it we can stop. Know though, that nothing that will have happened will be your fault. It will all be my perversion, or whatever you choose to call it."

Dean thought for a moment about what Cas was suggesting. This was it. Dean knew he would never get a better opportunity to explore his desires.

"I have one condition," Dean said. "Hunting is a 'sweetie' free zone. You say 'potty' once and I get to kick you in the nads."

"I'm sure Jimmy would prefer you didn't damage his testicles, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes at the angel. "We'll teach you the social niceties of jokes that aren't jokes, Cas. For now, just tell me you get my point."

"I agree with your terms, Dean. Hunting is an exception to our agreement," Cas said.

Dean nodded slowly.

"Say 'yes' if you want this Dean," Cas commanded.

"Yes, Daddy," Dean said. It was done.

Cas smiled broadly, but he said nothing more. He gently pulled Dean out of the stiff seated position the hunter had adopted. Dean wound up with his head against Cas' chest and the spout of a sippy cup teasing his lips. Taking a deep breath, Dean opened his mouth and let Cas slide the plastic piece between his lips. There was no point in arguing or worrying over what this said about him. After all, Dean may have consented, but anything that happened now was out of his control. Thank God.

.................................

Later that day, Dean was growing restless. He had enjoyed cuddling and watching cartoons with Castiel in the morning. Dean had put up with having his food cut up and a rather age-inappropriate outfit picked out for him. Even when Cas had suggested Dean take a nap, Dean had been compliant. Now though, it was late afternoon and long-past time that they got on the road.

Dean reached up and tugged on Cas' coat to get the angel's attention.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Can we please go on a hunt now Ca- Daddy?" Dean asked plaintively. He was not cut out for long periods of inactivity. 

"Are you sure you feel up to it?" Cas said.

Dean nodded eagerly. Oh God yes. His stomach might still be doing the occasionally loop-the-loop, but if it meant he could leave this hotel room, Dean was aces. "We were supposed to be there days ago," he pointed out. Well, just yesterday actually, but who was counting?

When Cas didn't seem convinced, Dean made his eyes as wide and as bright as possible. He thought of the embarrassment of the first time he peed himself in front of Cas, hoping that blushing would give his cheeks some healthy-looking colour. 

"Alright," Cas finally conceded. "But if you feel sick at all, you tell me, okay?"

"Sure, Cas," Dean said dismissively, jumping up from the couch to get ready.

"Dean," Cas said in a deep warning voice.

"Oops. Sure Daddy." Dean started to pack.

"Dean Winchester, look at me."

Dean stopped immediately and faced Cas. He didn't bother to hide his sigh though. "If I feel sick I will tell you, Daddy."

Cas smiled, content with that answer.

After packing their things, Cas and Dean checked out of the hotel and went to find the car. Dean was about to get into the driver's seat, but Cas stopped him. "Oh no, little boy," Cas said. "You can't be driving." The angel held out his hand for the keys to the Impala.

Dean's mouth dropped open. "Oh hell no," he said. "And don't tell me to watch my language, Cas," Dean cut the angel off. "This is a time-out from our arrangement, because you are delusional and not fit to take care of a kid if you think you're driving Baby."

"Dean, there are no time-outs. And don't worry, Gabriel has been teaching me to drive."

Dean burst out laughing. "Thanks Cas," he gasped finally. "I needed a chuckle."

Cas looked at Dean seriously. "It wasn't a joke. Gabriel has been on Earth a long time. He is quite proficient."

"Not happening, Cas," Dean said.

"Unfortunately Dean, this is not up for debate."

Dean stared down the angel. Finally, he growled and practically flung the keys at Cas. "If you scrape one molecule of paint off her, his junk won't be the only thing Jimmy has to worry about. I hear angels taste like chicken."

Cas ignored Dean and climbed into the driver's seat. Once he was settled, he leaned over to fasten his grumpy little boy into the passenger's seat. 

Cas adjusted the mirror and turned the keys in the ignition. ACDC blared off the speakers as soon as the Impala's engine came to life. Cas began to reach for the volume control, but one look at Dean's black glare and he withdrew his hand to place it on the steering wheel. Humans were a touchy lot. 

Dean groaned as he watched Cas position his hands at ten and two o'clock. By the time they reached this next hunt Dean would be older than Bobby. Beneath the hood, the Impala's engine revved. Dean was flung back into his seat as the car jerked forward and they peeled out of the parking lot. 

Cas turned and beamed at Dean, who was clutching the panic handle for dear life. "I told you Gabriel taught me to drive," he said as they sped down the road.

"Eyes on the road, maniac," was the only reply Cas got.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a rough time with this chapter. It just wasn't coming together nicely. Hopefully there are no glaring inconsistencies, but a bit of editing may have to happen over the next could of days. For now though I just wanted to be done with the freaking thing.

Dean and Cas arrived at their destination and found a motel to stop at for the night. They got there faster than Dean had expected; apparently speed limits were flexible in Heaven. 

After they checked in, Dean debriefed Cas on their hunt. "Bobby heard rumors from some other hunters that passed through here a couple of weeks back. He said it sounds like a coven. Should be pretty straight forward. We'll just need to scout the place out, see how many there are, and then bye bye vamps."

Castiel nodded from his seat on the bed. "When do you wish to leave?"

Dean shrugged. "No time like the present. I'll go get changed and we can head out."

"Go to the bathroom before we leave, and don't forget warm clothes," said Cas.

Dean stopped his movement towards the bathroom. Slowly, he turned to face Cas. "We talked about this," he said in a tightly controlled voice. "I do what you want for two weeks, but nothing goes on during hunts."

Castiel smiled slightly. "We aren't on the hunt yet."

Dean grumbled under his breath and went back to getting ready.

In the bathroom, Dean removed the pull-up he had been wearing on Cas' orders and pulled on his usual hunting attire. He went back into the main room to find Castiel waiting for him. Cas looked at Dean's pants and raised an eyebrow. "Hunting, Cas," Dean reminded him. The angel made no argument, so Dean led them out of the motel and to the car. Before Cas could say anything, Dean slipped into the driver's side and buckled himself in. "Anytime Cas," Dean said, and Castiel took the passenger's seat. If Dean needed to draw a firm line between his life as a hunter and his time with Cas, the angel could work with that.

Cas and Dean drove to the abandoned warehouse that Bobby expected was the vampires' hideout. There was no obvious movement, but the sun was still high enough in the sky that Dean would have been surprised to see any activity. Pulling off the road slightly gave enough tree cover that the Impala would not be visible from the building. "We'll wait until dark," said Dean. "Then we'll get a bit closer and stake it out." Castiel nodded in agreement, and the two men relaxed back in their seats to wait. 

They had been there about an hour, before Castiel sat bolt upright, instantly alert.

"What is it, Cas?" Dean asked. Anything that could surprise the angel was worthy of attention.

"Probably nothing," Cas said. The angel didn't look anymore relaxed though. "Dean, I need to go. Will you be alright here by yourself?"

Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He could handle a few bloodsuckers without Cas. The look in Cas' eyes kept Dean quiet though. Castiel looked at the very least confused, perhaps almost worried. And not much worried Cas. "I'll be fine," Dean said instead. 

"Promise me you'll just keep watching from here and not go inside until I get back."

This time Dean did roll his eyes. Cas fixed him with a firm stare though and Dean finally shrugged. "Sure, Cas." 

Before Dean could ask Cas what was going on, the angel had vanished, and Dean was alone. Dean settled back into his seat to wait. Not that Dean would want to go back to hunting alone, but every now and then it was nice to have a solitary moment.

Dean was drifting off to sleep when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He jerked upright. "Dammit Cas," Dean yelled.

"Hey Harry, where's Lloyd?"

Dean jumped again. That was not Castiel's voice. He twisted around in his seat. It sounded almost like - "Gabriel," Dean growled. 

"Twitchy, aren't we?" the archangel smirked.

"What are you doing here?"

"Cassie asked me to keep an eye on ya. He seems to think you'll get into some sort of trouble," Gabriel said.

Dean grumbled. "Yah, that sounds like Cas. So where is he anyway?"

Gabriel shrugged. "He didn't say where he was going. Just made me promise to drop in?"

"Right. And scare the shit out of me while you were at it," Dean said. 

Gabriel looked hurt. "As if that was intentional," he said with wide, innocent eyes.

"Right," said Dean. "Well if you insist on staying, at least move up front so I can keep an eye on you."

Gabriel vanished from sight and reappeared in the seat next to Dean. In his hands were two beer. He passed one to Dean and clinked their bottles before Dean could pull his hand away.

"A stake-out, is it?" Gabriel asked.

Dean grunted.

Seeing Dean wasn't going to respond, Gabe leaned back in his seat and waited for Dean to become a little less reticent. Or bitchy. 

Dean and Gabriel waited in the car for a couple more hours. The sun had finally gone down, but there still was no sign of movement from within the building. Dean was starting to get stiff from sitting so long in the car. He had also begun unconsciously, to shift around in his seat. After about fifteen minutes, Dean noticed what he was doing. At the same time, he realized why he was feeling so antsy: he had to pee. Goddam Gabriel and his goddam beer. 

Dean stayed silent, hoping he would be done with this hunt soon. Another half hour passed though, and still there was no sign of Castiel or the vampires. 

"Alright, that's it," said Dean, leaning forward in his seat. The change in position made his bladder ache concerningly.

Gabriel looked over at him with one eyebrow up.

"I've had enough of sitting here. If Cas wants to take off that's fine, but he can't expect me to just sit here until he decides he's ready to pop back in for the party. Screw that." Dean opened his door, and went around to the back of the Impala. He popped the truck and armed himself to do some slaying. Dean closed the trunk and steeled himself to stalk past Gabriel, but when Dean looked back to the passenger's seat, the archangel was gone.

"Well, glad Cas sent you to look out for me," Dean grumbled. He made his way toward the house as quickly as he could without getting careless. He really had to pee now. Thankfully, this hunt was a straightforward in-and-out case.

Dean reached the edge of the tree line, but he hesitated before he made a run for the house. He was pissed at Cas for just disappearing without explanation, but then again that was Cas. The angel probably had a good reason for asking Dean to wait. What was worse was that Dean had promised Cas he wouldn't go into the building. And good God, the last thing Dean wanted to do was disappoint Cas. 

Being still for too long reminded Dean again that he was getting desperate for the washroom. He could always just go in the trees, but he hated the idea of being snuck up on by a blood sucker while he was busy pissing. No, it was better to clean out the nest first. Then Dean could relieve himself in peace. That being decided, also resolved the matter of whether or not Dean should wait for Cas. His bladder would hold out long enough to finish the hunt, but not if he had to wait another hour for Cas to show up. With his bladder nagging him on, Dean ran to the building and slipped silently through a back window.

Dean moved stealthily through the building, getting the layout of the place and making sure he had a firm vamp count before he went all-in. From what Dean could tell there were only two of the blood suckers there. They were definitely vampires too, nothing special. Dean shook his head. He couldn't believe he had wasted so much time waiting for Cas. 

Just as he was about to reveal himself, Dean heard a car - maybe two - pulling up in front of the building. Several doors opened and slammed shut. Then, Dean could make out voices coming towards the front door, which was stationed behind him. The people talking weren't making an effort to be quiet. They spoke without urgency or fear. Between that and the content of their conversation, Dean came to an unpleasant realization: more vampires. _Shit._

With an unknown number of vampires about to enter the hallway behind him and two more of the monsters to his front, Dean was low on options. He looked around him quickly, and made a dash to a nearby closet. As far as hiding places go, it was weak. Dean managed to close the door behind him though, just as the building's front entrance opened. Judging by the footfalls and number voices, Dean guessed another five or six vampires had joined the party. At least. _Double shit._

Dean's bladder chose that moment to remind Dean of why he had decided not to wait for Castiel in the first place. God it was getting uncomfortable. Dean shifted as quietly as he could in the tiny space, but every movement he made caused the coats around him to rustle traitorously. Longingly, Dean thought back to Castiel's suggestion to wear a pull-up. Obviously Dean wouldn't have used it, but at least the option would have been there for him. But he definitely didn't need it. He was just really goddam uncomfortable. 

Dean shifted his hand down, so he was holding himself. He shuddered to think of how childish he must look, hiding in the bottom of a closet, knees to his chest and hand clamped down on his crotch. It really was the worst position to be in for keeping a lock on himself. 

Dean paid only half attention to the conversation happening in the main room; he had his own battle happening after all. Unfortunately, the vampires seemed content to converse in the main hall though, and Dean was sure he had been squirming in the closet now for at least fifteen minutes. Might as well have been hours though for all the damage it was doing to Dean's self-control. 

Dean's bladder contracted especially painfully. Barely, he managed to suppress any leaks, and he let out a small groan. There was movement from outside, and Dean was certain someone had heard him, but instead, the group seemed to have decided to move further into the building. 

Dean was about to sigh with relief, but then the footsteps tapered off and stopped. The vampires had moved into the adjacent room. _Sonuvabitch._

Dean grabbed himself harder, until it was painful. At least that took his focus off the pain in his abdomen though. Dean didn't want to acknowledge it, but the last time he had felt like this was that time in his Impala, back when this whole mess had started. This time though, he had no Castiel to fix things. Dean made a mental note to listen to Cas more often. Not that he would ever tell the angel that. Cas was already far too smug. "I'm an angel of the Lord," Dean muttered caustically under his breath. 

Dean gasped as a shooting pain came from within him and he felt a first warm drop dampen his boxers. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Dean slowed his breathing and tried to focus, but he was more than a little distracted. Weighing his options, Dean came to the uncomfortable conclusion that they were more than limited. Dean could make a run for it, but he would definitely be caught before he could make it to the car. And the only thing worse than getting caught by a group of angry vampires was getting caught and subsequently pissing himself. 

Dean looked around the closet. He would have to try to stand up quietly and pee in one corner of the narrow space. As Dean shifted, another spurt came out. He glanced down at himself in horror. There was still no sign of his misdeeds on his jeans, but that wouldn't last much longer. Standing was obviously out of the question.

"Hide and seek, is it Deano?"

The voice came from directly beside him and was accompanied by a pair of knees digging into his side. Dean jumped and lost a little more control.

"Dammit, Gabriel," Dean snapped as softly as he could.

Gabriel looked at the obvious expression of discomfort on Dean's face. He switched out his smirk for a look of concern. "You okay there," Gabe asked. Tears were shining in Dean's eyes and his jaw was clenched, just from the sheer stress of resisting his body. 

"Fine," Dean muttered. "Now go away."

"No, really," said Gabriel. "What's wrong?"

Dean groaned. "Nothing, just gotta piss. It's no big deal."

"Oh, well I can fix that," Gabriel said with a sparkle in his eyes. Dean hated that look. It only ever meant bad things.

Gabriel snapped his fingers softly, and next thing Dean knew his damp boxers had been swapped out for something soft, tight, and cushiony. It was a bit like his "special pants", but those weren't anywhere near as thick. The added padding forcing apart his legs was making it even harder to hold on. And how could Gabriel know about this? Cas must have told him. And angel or not, Dean was going to kill Cas the next time Dean saw him. 

Dean glared at Gabriel and without thinking said, "I wear pull-ups you douche, not diapers." Yah it wasn't a great defence, but it was all Dean had, and pull-ups were a bit better, right?

There was an intake of breath from beside him, and Dean met Gabriel's eyes. Curiosity and shock warred on Gabe's face. 

Dean gasped. "You didn't-" He couldn't finish his sentence. Oh God, he was almost certainly going to piss himself at this point, and now Dean felt like he was also going to throw up. Dean couldn't even think. He had never been so mortified in his life. 

Gabriel wasn't completely sure what he had stumbled on, but the mood in the closet was becoming uncomfortably tense. Well, for him at least. He was pretty sure the situation had passed from uncomfortable to just-let-me-die for Dean long ago. Besides, Gabriel had enough information to satisfy his curiosity for the time being, because based on Dean's frantic thoughts, this was definitely what Cas had been hiding. It was time to diffuse the situation. 

As whenever Gabe was in an unpleasant circumstance, he went for flippancy. "Hey babycakes," Gabriel said, "whatever you and Cassie like to get up to is-" 

Gabe didn't get to finish, because next thing he knew his head had been pushed to the side, and Dean was keeled over on the floor, clutching his hand. The ungrateful little twerp had punched him.

"Fuck," Dean repeated over and over as he clutched his hand. He couldn't stand angels. All he could feel for a several seconds was the searing ache of smashed knuckles. Next time he would just punch a brick wall. It would be softer. 

As the pain receded though, Dean became aware of a feeling that was so much worse. His entire crotch and bum were warm and wet. Distracted by the throbbing ache that followed hitting Gabriel, Dean had finally peed in his diaper. 

Dean stayed curled up on the floor, not willing to move. His face was so red it was hot to the touch, his hand still hurt, and he was in a wet diaper. Maybe if he just lay there Gabriel would leave. That was the only thing that could make this moment any less rotten. Well that, and calling Cas. And where was his Daddy anyway? 

Almost as if his thoughts had summoned Cas, Dean felt a warm hand rub up and down his back. He relaxed into it slightly. 

"You're okay buddy." 

Dean stiffened again and felt his eyes burn with tears. That wasn't Cas; it was still Gabriel. 

"Please go away," Dean said. 

"I'm not going to leave you here like this. Cassie would have my hide. Let me at least see your hand."

Dean shook his head and curled up into a tighter ball. The movement stretched the material of his diaper, so it pressed more firmly against his backside. Dean whimpered.

"Alright Dean-o, come on," said Gabriel gently. He opened the door to the closet, stood up, and bent to pick Dean up in his arms. When Dean looked back at Gabe, the angel was dressed in full fireman gear, complete with the hat.

"Not funny," Dean mumbled. He rubbed at his wet cheeks, but new tears just replaced them. God he was such a wimp lately. _I wish Cas were here._

"Yah," Gabriel said. "I can explain that." Dean didn't even realize he had spoken aloud. He blushed harder. When Dean looked up at Gabriel his mortification was temporarily replaced with curiosity, because Gabriel actually sounded guilty, and that was new. 

"What did you do to D- Cas," Dean said suspiciously.

"I didn't do anything to him," Gabriel said indignantly. "I just gave him the strong impression that there was something going on in here that he might need to look into before you two went in." 

"What did you make him sense?" Dean asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "Leviathan." 

Dean glared at the archangel holding him.

"What," Gabe asked innocently. "There's not much that you and Cas can't handle, and I needed time alone with you to find out what the big secret was. Cassie doesn't tell me anything."

Dean's face fell as he was reminded that he was in the arms of one of the most powerful creatures in the universe, sporting a thoroughly soaked diaper.

Gabriel saw the tears about to start again and sighed. "Come on, let's get you home," he said. 

Gabriel pushed the closet door fully open and walked to the front door. Several shouts of surprise came from behind them, and Gabriel and Dean were soon surrounded by angry vampires. Gabriel sighed. He whistled, since Dean was in his arms, and instantly all eight vamps were tossed aside by an invisible force. They hit the walls of the room violently and stuck there. Gabriel didn't bother to watch the results of his handiwork, but continued out the door with Dean. 

Dean raised an eyebrow. 

"They'll be freed eventually," Gabriel said. "Maybe even before sun-up."

Dean smirked before remembering he was supposed to be miserable. 

"Ready?" Gabe asked.

 _No_. But Dean nodded.

The next moment, Gabriel was standing in the middle of the latest motel room, still with Dean in his arms. He walked over to the bed and laid Dean down on it. Dean curled up miserably again. His diaper was cold and getting itchy. He knew he should just go change himself, but he really wanted Cas to come home and give him a bath. 

Dean brightened up a bit at that thought. Since Cas' mission had turned out not to be real, Dean could call him without getting in the way of something. The only thing was Cas was bound to be mad. Dean had an accident after Cas had told him he should wear a pull-up. If Gabriel hadn't been there, Dean would be sitting in a closet in wet pants, waiting for eight vampires to go to sleep. The archangel still deserved to be punched though. What would be worse from Cas' point of view was that Dean had disobeyed him and gone into the building on his own. He felt a bit guilty, realizing that if Cas found the empty Impala he would think Dean had gone into a building of leviathans by himself. _Oops._

Dean looked up when he heard Gabriel muttering in Enochian. There was the quietest flap of wings, and then Castiel was standing by the bed. The room was full of the angel's ire. 

"Dean Winchester," Cas growled, rounding on his boy. "What did I tell you?"

"Not to go inside the building without you," Dean whispered.

"And what did you do?"

"I went inside." Fresh tears welled up in Dean's eyes. 

Dean meant to keep looking at Cas, to show Cas that he was listening, and he was sorry. As he felt the full force of his daddy's anger and disappointment though, he couldn't help rolling over onto his side miserably. 

Cas stopped in his rant. There was more going on here. Normally if Cas got mad Dean would just yell back at him or ignore him. This reaction was more like after the time in the Impala- 

Cas took a deep breath of surprise. When he did, the acidic tang of ammonia was obvious. How had he missed it before. Dean's pants weren't wet though. 

Cas looked back at Gabriel. His brother nodded in response to Cas' unspoken question. "Wait here while I deal with this," Cas told Gabriel silently. "Dean needs to see you after he calms down or it's going to take ages for him to come back from this." 

With Gabriel's unvoiced agreement in his head, Cas turned back to his boy.

"Dean, sweetie," Cas said. "Can you sit up and look at me?"

Dean let Cas pull him into a sitting position.

"Now what's going on?" Cas said. 

Dean closed his eyes tightly and said in one hurried breath, "Ihadanaccident."

"Oh baby," said Cas. He pulled Dean into his lap and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist.

Dean leaned back against Cas and let himself cry.

"Where were you," Dean whined miserably. Even though he knew where Cas had been, it seemed like the only way to express how lonely he had felt.

From behind them there was a guilty sounding cough, but both Cas and Dean were too caught up in each other to pay it any attention.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm here now," said Cas. "Next time you want me, call. No matter what I'm doing I will come to you."

Dean nodded. "I will." He knew he wouldn't bother Cas when the angel was doing important things, but Dean figured that was what Cas would want to hear.

They stayed like that for a bit longer, before Dean turned his head to whisper in Cas' ear. "Would you- do you-." Dean sighed.

"Will I what baby?" Cas prompted. 

"Will you change me?" Dean asked.

"Absolutely," Cas said, and his voice was full of warmth.

"Bath too?" 

"Bath too," Cas agreed.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short, but it seemed an appropriate place to stop. I'll probably have what was going to be the second part of this chapter out tomorrow or the next day.

Cas took Dean into the bathroom to get cleaned up. A bath would be the best thing to brighten his little boy's mood. Dean sat on the toilet seat in his squishy diaper while Cas began to run the water. When the flow of water from the tub's faucet began, Dean felt the need to pee. He shrugged mentally. _Why the hell not,_ Dean thought dejectedly. His diaper was wet already. Dean relaxed, and hot pee began pooling in his diaper. It absorbed more slowly than it had before, and Dean was very aware of the warm wetness engulfing him. 

When the tub was full, Cas helped Dean out of his soiled diaper. If the angel noticed the warmth of a fresh wetting, he didn't comment. Instead, Cas just led Dean to the tub and eased him down into the water. 

Dean put his hands out to help slow his decent. "Ow," he yelped when pressure was put on his damaged hand. 

Dean had been trying to keep his injury to himself. He didn't want Cas to know that he had punched Gabriel on top of everything else. 

"Let me see it baby," Cas said calmly, and Dean couldn't help but pass his hand over to his daddy for inspection. 

Cas looked curious, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he placed his fingers gently against Dean's hand and healed the bruised knuckles. "All better," he said. 

Dean didn't look entirely convinced though.

"Does something else hurt?" Cas asked.

Dean shook his head. Blushing deeply, he said "you're supposed to kiss it." 

Cas had no idea what Dean was talking about, but he resisted the urge to point out that angel magic didn't work through kisses. This seemed important to Dean, so he gently picked up the healed hand and put his lips to the knuckles.

From Dean's mind, Cas caught a glimpse of Mary Winchester kissing a scraped knee. _Ahh, of course._

Dean relaxed back into the bath with a sigh of content. He still wasn't over Gabriel finding out about his arrangement with Cas or seeing him wet himself or Cas being angry with him, but things were definitely looking up. 

Dean allowed Cas to wash him, and he put up no protest when the angel dressed him in a pull-up again.

Once Dean was dried and dressed, Cas sent his boy out of the bathroom while he cleaned up. Cas was only away from Dean for fifteen minutes, but when he went to look for Dean, the angel found his boy curled up in a ball, sniffing back tears.

Cas didn't bother to stop his sigh. He was almost starting to wonder if trying to give Dean another childhood had been a good idea after all. When Cas insisted he and Dean try this, he had thought it would be soothing for his friend. Cas had never guessed how much time Dean would spend being miserable. Perhaps it was time they call it quits.

Cas was about to suggest just that, when Dean looked up at the angel from his spot on the bed. "Daddy," he said and held out his arms for a hug. Cas wasn't sure if it was seeing Dean fully in his role or selfishly not wanting to lose the thrill he got when Dean looked to him for comfort, but Cas immediately abandoned all thoughts of stopping their arrangement. 

"What's wrong, baby?" Cas said as he wrapped his arms around Dean.

"I was on a hunt," Dean sniffed. The man cringed at how childish he sounded, but he had to get this off his chest. "I completely lost control of myself on a hunt. That can't happen. What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you," Cas growled, causing Dean to flinch. The angel gentled his voice, instantly contrite. "I think you're under a lot of stress sweetie. You're trying to be an adult and figure out this side of you at the same time. It would be confusing for anyone."

Dean nodded slowly. Made sense.

"So what do I do?" Dean asked. He stared at Cas with wide eyes. The expression on that cherubic face said that Castiel, no Daddy, could fix anything. And goodness, Cas wanted to live up to that look.

"Before we search out anymore hunts," Cas said slowly, not sure how Dean would react to his suggestion, "I think we should take some time to sort this out. You said you would give me two weeks. Well, let's call those two weeks a vacation. The world will still be here when you get back, and you may have a clearer feel for things by then."

Dean hesitated. Two weeks of this. He could think of nothing more exhilarating or terrifying. Dean had said though that he trusted Cas entirely, and if this is what the angel thought was best, well Dean could give it two weeks.

Dean nodded. "Ok, Daddy," he said. Dean knew he had made the right choice when he saw his daddy beaming down at him. 

Cas and Dean stayed on the bed for a little longer, Dean revealing in the feeling of being wrapped in his daddy's strong arms. Slowly, Dean began to relax. He held off the yawn he felt looming for as long as he could, but eventually it slipped out.

Cas responded exactly how Dean knew he would. "How about a nap, little one?" Cas said.

Dean shook his head firmly. "Not tired."

"Well, why don't you just lie down for a bit anyway," Cas said gently. "I have to see where Gabriel has gotten to, so I will track him down while you have a snuggle." At that point Cas noticed Dean's look of alarm. "Don't worry sweetie. I can talk to him from here. I won't go anywhere," Cas clarified quickly.

Dean smiled. _That's right you won't._ He allowed Cas to check his pull-up and tuck him into bed. When Cas sat down on the bed beside him, Dean cuddled up as close to the angel as possible. It wasn't long before he fell fast asleep.

When Castiel heard Dean's breathing even out, he cast his thoughts afield, searching for his brother.

Gabriel responded promptly. _Hey Cassie, how' the little monster holding up?_

_He seems fine for now. Where did you go. I told you Dean will need to see you. It doesn't help if I tell him you aren't bothered by all of this. He won't really believe it until he sees for his own eyes._

Gabriel kept his voice gentle. His little brother had always been a protective one, but this was new. Gabe approved. _Don't worry Cas, I'll be back. I heard Dean agree to try this for two weeks. You two need a proper place to do that. Dean was raised in motels the first time around. If you're trying to give him a better experience this time, he needs a home for stability and security. I'll have a place set up in no time._

Cas felt a warmth in his chest that he had only ever associated with Dean. Even Cas' mental voice was strained with emotion when he said, _Thank you, brother._

From Gabriel, there was no response.

................

Dean awoke to Cas shaking him gently. “Wake up or you won’t be able to sleep tonight, baby.”

Dean grumbled and rolled away from Cas, covering his head with the blanket.

Cas laughed and gently pulled the covers away from Dean’s face. “Come on,” he said. “Gabriel has a surprise for you. You can’t have it if you stay in bed.”

Dean eyed Cas suspiciously. “What kind of surprise?”

“Now, that would ruin the fun,” said another voice. Gabriel walked into Dean’s line of sight. “Come on monster, are you going to be grumpy in bed all day or will you come see what I got you.”

Dean had been dreading seeing Gabriel again after “the Incident”, as Dean had termed it in his mind. The archangel was acting normally as far as Gabriel went though, and the idea of a surprise had peaked Dean’s curiosity. 

As he started to get out of bed, Dean remember he was only in a t-shirt and pull-up though, and his cheeks turned bright red. He straightened up to whisper in Cas’ ear.

“Gabe doesn’t care Sweetie,” Cas said. Dean’s daddy removed the covers and hoisted Dean up so he was perched on Cas’ hip. Dean hid his face in Cas’ shoulder, feeling trapped by his inability to just disappear.

Dean felt strong hands wrapping around his waist. Next thing he knew, he was being pulled away from the safety of Cas and was settled against another warm body.

“Look at me Dean-o,” said Gabriel from above him. 

Dean glanced up reluctantly. 

“I have lots of brothers, but I have always wanted a nephew,” said Gabriel with exaggerated solemness. 

Dean sniffed. “Uncles are supposed to spoil you.”

“Are they now?” said Gabe. “Well I guess it’s a good thing I got you that surprise then.”

Dean nodded slowly. Honestly, Gabriel seemed pretty cool about the whole thing. Besides, Cas could be a bit of a hard ass, and it might pay to have someone who might take Dean’s side sometimes. With that in mind, Dean reached his arms around Gabriel’s neck and hugged his new uncle. It felt surprisingly good. Maybe the archangel finding out wasn’t entirely a bad thing after all.

Eventually Dean pulled away. When he made eye contact with Gabriel, his uncle was grinning broadly. "Alright, cutie pie, are you ready to go?"

Dean nodded, curiosity getting the better of him again. What kind of surprise did he have to leave the motel to get? 

"Hold on," said Cas from behind them. "Before we go anywhere, do you need to go to the potty Dean?"

Dean shook his head. He did a bit, but not enough that it was worth delaying his surprise. Besides, both Cas and Gabe could transport him back here in an instant if need be.

"Are you sure?" said Cas. "You just woke up."

 _Yupp_ , thought Dean. _Hard-ass_. 

"I'm fine Daddy," Dean sighed.

"Alright," Cas agreed. 

Gabriel passed Dean back over to Cas. With a snap of the archangel's fingers, Cas and Dean were no longer in the motel room; they were standing in Bobby's house.

Dean gasped with horror and struggled to get down from Cas' arms. No way was Bobby going to see him like this. Cas held onto Dean tightly though, refusing to put him down. 

"Shh," Cas soothed. "It's only you and me here baby. I promise."

Dean relaxed immediately, and Cas set him down so that Dean could explore.

It took Dean only a couple of minutes to recognize the subtle differences that suggested he wasn't in Bobby's house after all. In fact, it was more like the Bobby's house of Dean's childhood. Guns, knives, poisons, bunsen burners, and anything else potentially dangerous were now stored up high, out of reach of tiny hands. Toys that Bobby had kept on hand for when Dean and Sam stayed were tucked away on shelves. Finally, in the corner of Bobby's office space was the old rocking chair where Bobby used to sit with Dean and Sam to read them bedtime stories. 

There were ways that Dean's surroundings strayed from his childhood memories though. When Dean ran to examine the room that he and Sam used to occupy when they stayed with Bobby, there was one king-sized bed instead of two twins. The blankets were the same worn but comfortable ones that Bobby had used for the boys when they stayed with him though. Dean walked over to the bed and sniffed the covers; they even smelled right. It was then that Dean noticed what else was on the bed; Dean's bee sat on the pillow waiting for him, and next to his bee was a perfect version of the Impala in miniature. 

Realization struck Dean then. Gabriel hadn't simply sent Dean and Cas back to Dean's childhood. The archangel had created an almost perfect replica of Bobby's house as it was when Dean was a boy. Gabriel had then modified a few features to make it even better. How had his uncle known that this is where Dean had been happiest, at least after Mary died anyway. So many times as a child, Dean had wished that he could call Bobby's place home for more than a few weeks or months at a time. Now this room was finally Dean's for real. 

Cas walked in to find Dean standing in his new bedroom, clutching his bee in one hand and a toy car in the other. 

"Are you ok?" Cas asked softly.

"This is the best present anyone ever got me," Dean said between sniffles. "Where did Uncle Gabe go though?"

"I think he wanted to give us some privacy while you explored," said Cas.

"Oh." Dean had never expected to be disappointed not to have the meddling archangel around. Uncle Gabe was way cooler than Gabriel though. 

Dean hesitated, but he finally asked Cas, "think I can call him, or think he's too busy..."

"I know your uncle would love to hear from you baby," Cas said.

Dean looked at the ceiling. "Uncle Gabe?" he said shyly.

There was a flap of wings, and then Gabriel stood in front of Dean.

"What do you th-" Gabriel didn't get to finish his question. He was caught off guard by arms being thrown around him in a tight hug.

"You like it huh?" Gabe asked.

"It's the bestest surprise ever," Dean said sincerely. 

Gabriel felt the warmth flowing from both Dean and Castiel. This time, it was directed entirely at him. The archangel wasn't sure what to do, so he simply stood in the presence of his family and beamed.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean spent the afternoon exploring his new home, with Cas and Gabriel following behind him. The two angels had tried to slip into the kitchen for a break and a chat, but as soon as he noticed their absence, Dean had anxiously gone looking for them. After that, Cas and Gabriel stuck with the little boy as he walked between the rooms he knew so well, basking in the familiarities and relishing the changes Gabriel had seen fit to make. Dean was fairly certain Bobby never had an automatic ice cream maker, but Dean wasn't about to complain. 

Following a dinner of a burger and fries, compliments of Gabriel rather than Cas, Gabe took off so that Dean and Castiel could settle in for the evening. The sitting room now had a DVD player and a cabinet well-stocked with Disney movies. Castiel suggested Dean choose something to watch. Since everything was cartoons and most of the shows were things Dean had never seen, he decided to go with _Up_. Cas insisted that Dean show him how to work the player so that he would be able to set movies up for Dean in the future. The boy patiently showed Cas several times; afterall, it was sweet of the angel to try. When Cas finally seemed to get the hang of it, he joined Dean on the couch. Dean had positioned himself at the far end as he normally would when sharing a sofa with another man, but Cas leaned towards him and pulled Dean close. There was no point in resisting something so comfortable, so Dean relaxed and allowed himself to be held against Cas' chest.

The movie was about halfway over when Dean noticed his eyelids were getting heavy. He looked up at Cas, debating internally. Since he woke up from his nap, Dean had wanted to ask Cas an important question but had not gotten the chance. He had to do it now before he fell asleep. Tugging on the sleeve of Cas' trench-coat, Dean got his daddy's attention. 

"What is it, little one," Cas asked.

Dean blushed at the nickname, but he couldn't pretend that at least some of the warmth he felt wasn't from embarrassment. 

Dean fidgeted, gathering his nerve. "How am I supposed to act Cas?" Dean asked finally.

"Daddy," Cas corrected. "And what do you mean?"

"That's what I mean," said Dean. "How am I supposed to behave? How old am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do or say?"

Cas looked down at Dean seriously. "Baby, you can do and say whatever you want. Well, minus some of your more colourful expressions. This isn't about you being a certain way. It's all about making you as comfortable and happy as possible. We're here to meet your needs. If you need to be two years old at one point and ten at another, you can do that."

Dean nodded slowly. "It would be easier to act a role. I dunno if I can just do that on a whim."

"I think if you just relax and do whatever comes to mind you'll be just fine." Cas smiled down at him, and Dean felt infinitely better. As long as there was no real right or wrong way for him to behave then he couldn't possibly screw this up too badly. 

Cas noticed then how droopy Dean's eyelids were getting. His boy was fighting hard to keep them open, but it was a losing battle. "Why don't we take you up to bed?" Cas said. "We can finish this tomorrow."

Dean thought about pretending he wasn't tired, but he was. And as good as the movie was, for once Dean didn't have to fight off sleep. There was no driving to do, no monsters to fight, no Sam to look out for. He would be crazy, no downright ungrateful, not to take this opportunity.

Dean nodded at Cas. He tried not to feel too cheated when the warm body slid out from underneath him. As soon as Cas was standing though, he lifted Dean up to balance on his hip. 

"To beddy bye," Dean said with a sleepy smile. He looked at Cas in horror when he realized what he said. "Um, that's what mom called it," he tried to explain.

Cas shushed him though. "To beddy bye," Cas said in his gruff voice, and he gave Dean a gentle smile.

Cas and Dean were almost to Dean's bedroom, when he remembered something. "Daddy, my bee," Dean said. 

"Oops. We don't want him to be lonely tonight." Cas walked back to the couch with Dean still on his hip. He leaned over so his boy could grab the plushie. Dean giggled as he felt himself go off balance. Yes, he goddam giggled. _Pull it together Winchester._ Dean cleared his throat, picked up the bee, and leaned back into Castiel with as much dignity as he could muster. It took all of the angel's self control not to laugh. 

After Cas dressed Dean in his pjs and made sure he went potty before bed, the angel tucked in Dean. Dean was certain he would never be able to fall asleep. It would be a night of tossing and turning and milling over the day's events. With Cas sitting beside him and running fingers through his hair, it took only minutes for Dean to slip into unconsciousness. 

It was one of the best sleeps Dean ever had, and he had been getting some great rests recently with his daddy by his side. He woke up feeling refreshed, and he beamed up at Cas when he got his daddy's attention. 

"Good morning sweetie pie," Cas said with a smile. "How's my little man?"

"Great Daddy," Dean answered. For once he didn't even feel awkward when "daddy" slipped out of its own accord. Dean was well rested, had nothing to worry about, and couldn't wait for whatever the day would bring.

 _And speaking of what the day might bring..._ "Pancakes?"

Cas laughed at Dean's hopeful expression. "Maybe something different today baby. You can't have pancakes everyday."

"Watch me," Dean grumbled, but he didn't put up a fight when Cas placed a bowl of cereal in front of him instead.

When Dean had finished breakfast, Cas asked what he would like to do for the day. Castiel had some ideas for their time together, but he figured the first day would be for Dean to get comfortable in his new situation. 

"Finish _Up_?" Dean asked.

"Sure, we can do that this morning and figure something else out for later."

Cas followed Dean as he bounded over to the couch. The angel suppressed a smile when Dean waited for Cas to sit down first so that Dean could lie on top of and snuggle into Cas. 

It took surprisingly little time for Dean to get engrossed in the story again. This movie had everything. And no, his eyes had not gotten wet at the sad parts. 

The story was just building up and tension was high, when Dean felt the need to pee. He had to go since he first woke up, but he figured it could wait until after breakfast. When Cas agreed to let him finish the movie, Dean had promptly forgot all about needing the toilet. Now though, the urge was strong. It was a conundrum - pause the movie and get some relief or wait it out and not have to ruin the story's climax. 

Dean sighed. He was about to get up because his bladder was starting to get painful, when he realized there was a third option. Cas had always been cool about Dean having accidents in the past, and hey, hadn't Cas told Dean to follow his instincts? If nothing else, this urge to wet the pull-up was primal. There was no other place the desire came from than deep inside. 

With his mind made up, Dean snuggled further into Castiel. It would be awkward to wet himself while being next to the angel, but Cas didn't need to know. Dean knew where Cas kept the spare pull-ups, so after the movie Dean could just go and slip into a fresh one. No harm, no foul, no angel any the wiser.

Dean smiled as he relaxed his body. Cas had said to relax, so that's what Dean was doing, just maybe more than Cas had intended. It was not easy to pee himself while lying on top of Cas, but it wasn't as hard as Dean was expecting either. After a few seconds a slow stream of pee began to flow into his pull-up. Dean clamped down when the flow started getting heavier. The last thing he wanted was to leak on Cas. But holy crap, it felt amazing. To date, Dean had either been too embarrassed or too sick to really pay attention to how it felt to wet his pull-ups. Well, he was noticing now, and it was awesome. Dean's crotch and bum felt warm. He let the urine sink into the pull-up, before letting more go. Because yah, Dean still had to go, but even more-so, he wanted to experience the sensation of wetting again. Once more, the warmth encompassed his ass and balls. 

Dean repeated his cycle of wetting and then waiting for the pull up to absorb his pee several times before he was finally finished. Once he was done peeing, Dean sunk blissfully back against his Daddy. He had a warm angel behind him, a warm pull-up engulfing him, and a warm blanket overtop of him; Dean was in Heaven. There was nothing to worry about, so he let himself get lost in the movie again.

 

\---

Castiel didn't exactly understand the point of this story Dean had chosen for them to watch, but it was entertaining enough. Mostly, Cas was happy because overtime he glanced down at his little boy, Dean was smiling. The normally on edge hunter, looked peaceful. The next time Cas looked at Dean's face though, he appeared absorbed in thought. Dean squirmed against him. Cas was going to ask what was wrong, but then he heard it. There was a quiet hiss and a slight crinkle from beneath the blanket. Only an angel could have heard it, and only Castiel would recognize it for what it was. Dean was wetting his pull-up. 

Cas frowned. Dean had to be aware of what he was doing; there was no way this was an accident. That had to mean Dean was finally just doing what felt right. Cas felt light with relief. He had begun to grow worried that Dean would never accept this part of himself. Wetting the pull-up was an enormous step. 

Cas felt Dean snuggle up against him, and he wrapped his arms tighter around his boy. As much as Cas didn't want Dean sitting in a wet pull-up for too long, he also didn't want to draw attention to what Dean had just done. There was no point in making the boy uncomfortable when Dean was currently radiating contentedness. Hopefully Dean would tell Cas when he was ready to be changed. 

\---

It wasn't until the pull-up had grown cold and was becoming itchy that Dean started to have doubts. Without the warm, comforting feeling, reinforcing his decision to wet himself, Dean was left feeling cold, little, and helpless. What had he been thinking? And why the hell did he feel unable to take care of this himself. All Dean had to do was walk to the bathroom, take that pull-up off, and pull a new one on. No big deal. It felt like he was being asked to take a rocket to the moon though. What had Cas done to him?

Deep in thought, Dean didn't notice when Cas slipped a hand beneath the waist band of his pyjama pants and into the leg opening of his pull-up. 

"Let's get you into something dry," said Cas, pretending to have noticed the wet pull-up for the first time.

Dean felt his face grow hot. Before he could fight them off, tears were pricking his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Shh," Cas soothed. "It's ok. A wet pull-up is no big deal. That's what they're for baby."

Cas picked Dean up and rocked him a bit as they made their way to the bathroom. When Cas put his hand underneath Dean's bum there was a slight dampness to his pjs. If Dean was going to keep wetting on purpose Cas would have to look into something more heavy-duty than the pull-ups. For now though, that wasn't something that Dean needed to deal with. Cas' boy was dangerously close to falling back into his habit of fighting his desires, and there was no way Cas was going to let Dean lose the progress he had made.

"How about a bath, sweetheart?"

Dean nodded. Baths with Cas were always good.

When the angel helped Dean into the tub of warm water, he did something new though. From beneath the bathroom sink, Cas pulled a basket of brand new toys. 

Dean just looked at the angel. What was he supposed to do with that stuff while in the bath?

When Dean made no move to take any of the toys, Cas emptied the basket into the tub. "Gabriel tells me these are intended for bath time," Cas said. "Your uncle is rarely wrong when it comes to anything impractical."

Dean picked up one of the toys dubiously. He had never had toys in the bath that he could remember. Then again, he had hardly had baths at all since Mary died. 

The toy Dean held looked like an overly large crayon. He looked at Cas with wide eyes. There was no waterproof pad to go along with it. Surely Dean wasn't supposed to write on the bath?

Cas shrugged. "Give it a try."

Dean slowly reached out and made a tiny mark on the side of the tub. If he had done this as a kid, John would've killed him for damaging the motel room. Quickly, Dean reached out to rub at the small line he made. The red spot easily wiped away beneath his wet fingers. Dean grinned. This was freaking awesome.

Cas smiled, watching Dean draw cars and the house and what he was fairly certain was meant to be himself, Gabriel, Dean, Sam, and Bobby. Crayon Dean was in the centre of the group, and both Sam and Cas had their arms around him. Or at least that's was Cas' best guess based on the stick figure blobs that the thick crayons produced. 

Cas noticed the water was starting to get cold, so he washed Dean quickly while the boy was engrossed in his artwork. 

When Cas was finished and told Dean it was time to get out, Dean sighed. "I wish it didn't have to wash away."

"Mm," Cas agreed. "It's a beautiful picture baby. But I think Uncle Gabriel may have left you some other art supplies for use outside of the bath. Why don't we get you dried off. Then we can go take a look."

Dean nodded happily at the idea, and Cas sighed with relief. Crises averted for now at least. It seemed impossible to predict what would upset Dean and threaten to ruin this experience for him. Dean seemed to be getting better at letting go though, and Cas was hopeful that the incidences of Dean's self-doubt would continue to get further between.

As Dean allowed Cas to dry him off, he realized he was feeling better. Something still wasn't quite right though. There was this anxious, naming feeling in his stomach that just wouldn't go away. It was better now after the bath with Cas, but he was still bothered by how much he seemed to be slipping into this whole kid role. Was he going crazy? What if he couldn't snap out of it after the two weeks were up? Worst of all, what if Cas got tired of this just when Dean was getting into it. 

Unfortunately, Dean could no longer deny that he was starting to enjoy the treatment. Wetting the pull-up had been one of the most awe-inspiring experiences ever, and Dean had been to Heaven. That feeling was almost topped though, when Cas gently tugged a new pull-up up Dean's legs and around his waist. Sure Cas had done that before, but this time it seemed different. Maybe it was the fact that Dean was being put in a fresh pull-up because he had wet his old one and Cas was taking care of the clean-up, or maybe it was because he was cold after his bath and the pull-up was soft and warm. Whatever the reason though, the only feeling that rivalled wetting a pull-up was having Cas change him into a clean one after he had done the deed. 

God, Dean was screwed.


	10. Chapter 10

_When he was a toddler, Dean had a little green pacifier that he sucked incessantly. He would walk around with it in his mouth, taking it out only to eat or brush his teeth. Eventually, John began to grumble that children Dean's age should not still be using pacifiers. Of course Mary told Dean he could use it as long as he wanted. The fights between John and Mary escalated though, and Dean began to realize they were all because of him and his pacifier. After one particularly loud argument, Dean swore off his pacifier for good. He stopped using it cold turkey and wouldn't even look at it anymore, despite Mary's attempts to convince him otherwise._

_Dean didn't touch a pacifier again until after Mary's death. One day when Dean was six, John sent him into a gas station to buy some snacks while John fueled up the car. Dean was browsing through the chips, when he noticed a section of the store with basic baby supplies. A green pacifier caught his eye, and instantly Dean was overwhelmed with longing for his mother. He looked quickly around. The cashier was busy with another customer, so Dean grabbed the pacifier and stuffed it in his pocket. He felt a little bad, but John would notice if he came back with too little money, and Dean didn't feel like he could leave the store without it. The pacifier burned in his pocket the whole time he was paying for his chips and explaining to John why he took so long._

_That night, when John, Dean, and Sam got to Bobby's house, John sent Dean to put Sammy to bed. Once Sam was asleep, Dean explored every nook of their room for a good hiding place. Finally, a floorboard caught his eye. He struggled with it, but eventually he managed to wiggle the board free. Underneath was a space big enough for his new treasure. Dean wrapped the pacifier reverently in one of his shirts and placed it gently in his new hiding place._

_Dean and Sam stayed with Bobby a few months that time. Whenever Dean had a moment alone, he would pull out his pacifier and suck on it and pretend his mom was still alive. Eventually John came back to collect his boys though, and when Dean left with his father, his pacifier remained behind. The risk of getting caught with it was too great. It was a couple of years before the boys spent any length of time at Bobby's house again, and by that time, Dean had forgotten about the pacifier's existence._

.................................

As promised, once Dean was dried off and redressed after his bath, Cas went and found the craft supplies Gabriel left. Dean looked dubiously at the colouring books and crayons. He hadn't used those even as a child. Since Cas had gone through the trouble of getting them though, Dean pulled one of the books over and started leafing through it. After only a few pages, Dean realized why the book was bothering him. All the pictures were of werewolves and vampires and rougarus. They were cartoon versions, but still, the colouring book was definitely hunter-themed. A couple of pictures even featured Dean, Sam, Bobby, and the angels. Dean was certain Gabe wasn't that tall in real life, but for the amount of imagination his uncle had put into the book, Dean was willing to grant him artistic license.

Dean stretched out on his tummy, grabbed a red crayon, and started to colour Sammy's shirt. It took hardly any time before he was completely engrossed in what he was doing. Soon, Sam and Cas were completely coloured, and Dean was working on shading in the Impala. Dean paused to admire his work. Everything was perfectly within the lines. Was it weird that he felt proud of that? That he wanted to show Cas?

Time passed in a blur as Dean worked his way through his first ever colouring book. He completely understood why kids liked these. They were awesome.

As the afternoon drifted by, Dean became aware that he had to pee. He ignored his body for as long as possible, but eventually lying on his tummy became uncomfortable. It didn't take much thinking this time before Dean was wetting his pull-up. He really wanted to finish his picture, but he couldn't get lost in the world of colouring when his mind was constantly being drawn back to his stupid bladder.

The sensation of urine drenching his pull-up was becoming familiar, and it was no less pleasant than the last time. Dean allowed himself a smile. There was something pleasing about the fact that Cas was sitting only a few feet away and had no idea what he had done. Dean didn't have to get up and interrupt his colouring, and no one had to be any the wiser. 

The smug satisfaction didn't last long however. Dean wasn't even finished peeing when the warm wetness began to spread from his crotch and tummy to cover the fronts of his legs as well, and that was definitely not supposed to happen. It was too late by this point to stop the flow, so Dean waited, frozen, for the puddle beneath him to stop growing. 

When he realized how suspicious he must look, Dean went back to colouring, trying to appear nonchalant. He shifted his legs gingerly, trying to see how far the wet patch spread. It didn't extend much beyond his legs or stomach, so Dean expected his deed would go unnoticed as long as he didn't move. The only problem was that he was quickly growing uncomfortable, and Cas was showing no signs of leaving his side anytime soon.

"Daddy," said Dean sweetly. "Can I have some juice please?"

"Of course sweetheart," Cas smiled. 

As soon as the angel was gone from the room, Dean stood up and assessed the damage. The rug was dark brown with a mottled pattern. As long as Cas didn't step on it, the wetness wouldn't be noticed. Dean's pants on the other hand, were an entirely different story. He headed to his bedroom, moving as quietly as possible.

"Do you want apple-"

Dean jumped when Cas' voice sounded behind him. 

_Shit._

"Dean, what are you doing?" Cas asked suspiciously. His little boy had been behaving oddly the last few minutes, and there was a definite guilty cast to the set of Dean's shoulders. On top of that, there was a musty smell, which hadn't been there only a few minutes ago. 

"Dean, did you have an accident?"

Dean froze. He was caught between an irrational urge to run and the logical part of him, which said to just turn around and face the consequences. 

"Dean Winchester," Cas said sternly. "Look at me."

Dean gulped. Yes, he actually gulped, but God that voice made his guilty conscience kick into over-dive and filled him with dread.

Finally, Dean gathered his courage and turned around. He kept his eyes on the ground, not daring to look at Cas.

Cas sighed. 

"I'm sorry for making a mess," Dean said softly. He couldn't honestly say he was sorry for using the pull-up, but he had never intended to cause so much trouble.

"Dean, I don't care about that. I know you didn't cause your pull-up to leak on purpose. I find it upsetting that you felt like you had to hide this from me though."

Dean felt something in his chest tighten. Cas looked...hurt? 

_Worst little boy ever._

Unfortunately, Dean couldn't deny that hiding the situation from Cas was exactly what he had been trying to do. And now that he thought about it, Dean could understand why that would upset the angel. He felt betrayed when Sammy hid things from him, especially when it was something with which he could help.

Dean walked over to Cas and put his arms up to signal he wanted to be picked up. Cas took the hint and lifted his boy so that Dean was seated on his hip. Belatedly, Dean realized that he would make a mess of Cas' clothes, but his daddy didn't seem to mind, so Dean decided not to worry about it. Cas could just mojo himself clean anyway. 

Burying his face in Cas' shoulder, Dean held onto the angel tightly, trying to take what comfort he could from Cas' solid presence. "I'm so sorry Daddy," Dean said into Cas' coat. "Please help me?"

Cas stroked Dean's back with his thumb. "Of course baby boy."

Dean thought he heard a hitch in Cas' voice, but there was no way right? The angel occasionally expressed emotions now, but he wouldn't get that worked up. 

Cas walked into the bathroom and set Dean down to inspect the damage. The entire front of Dean's pants were soaked, all the way to his knees. Apparently Dean hadn't held back at all this time, and the pull-up had not stood a chance of holding everything. 

Cas came to a decision as he stripped Dean down and rinsed him quickly in the tub. When Dean was dried off and it was time to redress him, Cas went to the closet of Dean's room instead of to the drawer that held his pull-ups.

"Daddy?" Dean said, shivering on the bed.

Cas returned with something large and white in his hand. Dean took one look at what Cas was holding and immediately began shaking his head. "No way," he said. "I'm not a baby. I'm not wearing that."

Cas sighed. He had been anticipating some resistance from Dean when it came to wearing a diaper, but an angel could always hope. "Dean, that's the second time your pull-ups have leaked now," Cas reasoned. 

"I won't wet them anymore. I promise."

Cas smiled at the wide-eyed, earnest expression on Dean's face. "You've been wetting them a lot recently Sweetie, and that's fine. I just don't want you to have to worry about leaks."

Dean shook his head adamantly, although the idea of being able to wet without worrying about doing it slowly was kind of nice.

"Just give them a try," said Cas. "If you want to use the potty at any point just let me know and I'll take it off for you."

Dean sighed, but Cas was being fairly reasonable. Slowly, Dean lay down and stretched out on his bed. He shuddered. This position was so much more vulnerable than just leaning against Cas while the angel slid his pull-ups on him. Now, Dean was completely exposed. He closed his eyes tightly. For a moment there was nothing, just the sound of Cas gathering things from around the room. All of a sudden though, there was the soft touch of fingers tickling his tummy. Against his will, he smiled brightly and opened his eyes for Cas. Dean's daddy grinned down at him.

"Bum up," said Cas.

Dean complied, and for the first time he could remember, he felt the soft, cushiony touch of a diaper being slid beneath his bottom. For the rest of the changing, as Cas covered him with baby powder and pulled the diaper closed, Dean just lay there in a trance. The warmth and coziness was so unexpected. While the pull-up had been nice, the diaper was incredible. It should have been impossible, but that one piece of clothing around his crotch made Dean's whole being feel safe. 

"Dean." 

Cas' voice seemed to come from far away. Finally, Dean noticed his daddy had spoken. He blinked away his daze and looked up at Cas.

"Hi Daddy," he said dreamily.

Cas chuckled. "Hi sweetheart. Are you ready to go back to colouring?"

Dean nodded. When Cas helped him stand up though, Dean realized all he really wanted to do was snuggle with his daddy for a bit. He lifted his arms and looked at Cas through long lashes. "Up?" Dean asked.

Cas smiled and picked up his boy, the manipulative little bugger. Sensing what Dean wanted, Cas carried him over to the rocking chair and sat down with Dean arranged on his lap. Dean leaned against Cas' chest and closed his eyes and the angel began to rock them. Bliss, there was no other word to describe what either Cas or Dean was feeling.

Although Dean tried his hardest to stay awake, it wasn't long before Cas heard his breathing even out. Cas was just considering moving Dean into the bedroom, when he felt his grace respond to a call. It was Sam praying to him. Now was as good a time to answer as any, with Dean deeply asleep. 

Cas reached out to Gabriel, and within seconds of making contact, the archangel was standing in the room. Gabriel held out his arms for Dean, and as smoothly as possible, Cas transferred the sleeping boy to his brother. He waited long enough to see Gabe settle into the chair with Dean before Cas blinked out to find Sam. 

While Cas was gone, Gabriel decided to just let Dean sleep. He killed time conversing with other angels until Dean's squirming brought him back to the present. 

Dean opened his eyes blearily and looked at the lap he was laying on. Definitely not Cas. "Uncle Gabe, where's Daddy," he mumbled. 

"He went to answer a call from Sam," Gabe said. "Don't worry, Sam's fine," he added before Dean could ask.

Dean looked at Gabriel suspiciously, but finally he nodded. He tried to get comfortable again, but there was no way he could fall back to sleep in this state. Squirming, Dean started to get up from Gabriel's lap, but the angel held him tightly. "Woah woah, where are you going?" asked Gabe.

"Gotta go to the bathroom," Dean said, feeling awkward. He was starting to get used to this with Cas, but Gabriel was another matter.

"You have a diaper on," Gabe said pointedly. 

Dean blushed to the tips of his ears. "Daddy said I could take it off to use the pot- toilet."

Gabriel just looked at him.

"Ok fine, I'm not allowed, but he really did say he would take it off if I had to go." 

"Sweetie, that's what a diaper is for," Gabe reasoned. "Just use it like a good boy. I don't mind." 

"Please?" Dean made his eyes as wide as possible.

"Why are you fighting this, buddy?"

Dean shook his head. He wasn't discussing this, not with Gabe. He struggled to get up, but the archangel held onto him. 

"All this resistance is just hurting yourself and your daddy."

Dean stopped moving as if he'd been struck. "Cas?"

"Yah," Gabe said, but his voice wasn't unkind. "I know my brother. He wants to do this with you, to build this relationship, but when you fight it you're creating doubt. Cas isn't used to doubt. He's worried that he's doing something wrong or that he's not enough."

Dean glared at Gabriel. "Of course he's enough. He's the best Daddy ever."

"Have you told him that?"

Dean looked at his uncle in shock. He had been so caught up in his own issues he hadn't realized that Cas might have doubts too. In fairness his daddy was an angel, and weren't angels supposed to know everything? Sure they were dicks, but they were well-informed dicks. 

"What if I get used to this though and Cas gets tired of it?"

"Is that what you're worried about baby cakes? Have you met your daddy? I have never seen Castiel happier than when he's with you, even moreso now that you two have started doing this." 

Dean came to a decision quickly. He took a deep breath and stilled in Gabriel's lap. Sooner than it usually took, urine was flooding his diaper. Dean met Gabriel's eyes. He didn't realize he had started crying until his uncle was wiping the tears off his cheeks.

"Good boy Dean-o," Gabriel whispered gently. He hugged his nephew tightly. "You're such a good boy. You mean the world to Cas and to me." 

Gabriel and Dean stayed that way for awhile. The archangel waited until tears had stopped leaking from Dean's eyes before he released his grip on the boy. Even then, Dean stayed leaning against Gabe while his uncle stroked his back. 

Finally, Gabe felt Dean beginning to squirm in his lap. "Let's get you cleaned up," he said. 

Dean stiffened and looked at Gabriel in horror. No way was the archangel changing him. Even the idea of Cas doing it was bad enough.

Gabriel saw the fear on Dean's face and relented. He snapped his fingers. "That's a one time thing," Gabe said. "You're going to have to get used to being changed. I'll let Cassie have the honor of doing it the first time though."

"Doing what the first time?" said a gruff voice from behind them.

"Daddy," Dean yelled before he could stop himself. He blushed then smiled shyly as Cas walked over and picked him up for a hug. 

"Changing the baby. Dean-o here wet his diaper." 

"Uncle Gabe," Dean groaned. Angels were the worst.

Cas looked at his boy with a big smile. "You did? You're so good, Dean. I'm so proud of you. I know that wasn't easy."

Dean preened under Cas' praise.

"So what did Sam want?" Gabriel asked.

"He had a question for one of his classes. It was of a historical legal nature." Cas said vaguely.

"So he asked you?" said Dean.

"Your Daddy has been around for awhile Dean-o. He's a walking primary source," cut in Gabe. "So Cassie, have you seen Balthazar recently?"

Cas covered his confusion admirably. "Not for awhile. What is his news?" he asked, as he set Dean down.

Gabriel switched seamlessly into Enochian."So what did Sam really want?"

"Not fair!" Dean scowled.

"Go play with your toys and let the adults talk about grown-up things."

"Stupid archangels," muttered Dean as he headed for his room.

"I heard that," Gabriel called after him. 

Cas hid his smirk when Gabriel turned around to face him. 

The archangel switched back to Enochian. "Well?"

"Sam wanted me to know that Dean's birthday is next week. But why would Dean hide that? I thought humans got excited about these events."

"Why wouldn't he keep it a secret? The little killjoy doesn't tell us anything. We have to throw a party Cassie."

Castiel frowned. "Sam indicated something similar, although he seemed to feel Dean would be resistant."

"So we don't tell Dean. I'm all over it. Just leave it to me."

"Gabriel, don't go overboard. I don't want Dean to be uncomfortable."

Gabe grinned. "Cassie, I will be the picture of restraint."

******** 

Dean wandered morosely back to his room. _Stupid angels and their stupid secret language._ He looked around the room, hoping for inspiration for something to do. Dean was about to flop down on his bed when something caught his eye. One of the floorboards looked a little different from the others. Uncle Gabe had reproduced Bobby's house almost exactly as it was when Dean was a child, but there was no way the archangel could know about his old hiding space. Dean himself hadn't thought about it in ages.

Despite his doubts, Dean's hands were shaking as he pried the floorboard up. When the space beneath was revealed, Dean just sat and stared. He reached in and tentatively pulled out the shirt that had been stuffed into the hole. For a moment Dean left the shirt in his lap. His heart was pounding. Finally, he gathered his courage and unwrapped the small bundle. From the shirt tumbled a little green pacifier. 

Dean's mind was hazy. It felt like he was watching someone else as he saw his arm reach out to pick up the pacifier and put it in his mouth. It was another person's lips that parted and someone else who instantly began sucking. Another person felt the immediate calm wash over him. 

After a few minutes, Dean's knees began to get sore from kneeling. He shifted his weight and eased himself onto the floor. That was the way Cas found him a half hour later. The angel looked down at his little boy, who lay curled up on his side, a pacifier on the ground by his face. 

Cas bent down and lifted Dean up, taking care not to wake his precious bundle. Settling Dean in bed, Cas pulled the covers up around his shoulders. He couldn't resist smoothing the hair back from Dean's forehead and planting a kiss on it. Before Castiel left Dean to his nap, he cleaned off the pacifier and pressed it gently to Dean's parted lips. The little boy didn't even wake up as he accepted the pacifier and started suckling. Surely there would be drama when Dean woke up and discovered Cas knew about his soother, but for now the image was too sweet to resist. Castiel stood for a moment, just watching his boy, before he closed the curtains, turned out the light, and shut the bedroom door behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Britt for the idea for this chapter. I hope it's what you had in mind :)

Dean looked around the sitting room in horror. There were balloons and streamers everywhere. Spot lights lit up the room, and "Happy Birthday Dean" was plastered over every surface. A table was piled high with cheeseburgers, candy, and a chocolate fountain. 

After Dean recovered from his shock, he headed over to the corner of the room that held the one thing he approved of: an enormous keg. Dean was about to take a swig from the mug he poured himself when the foamy goodness vanished, only to be replaced by something that smelled suspiciously of apple juice. He glared at the two angels who had just entered the room.

"What the he-" Dean cut himself off when he saw Castiel frown. "Where's my beer," he grumbled instead.

"Little boys don't get beer," Gabriel said with a grin. "Well, at least not until the others show up."

"Others?" Dean groaned.

"Sam and Bobby."

Dean looked at Cas accusingly. "Why didn't you hold him back?"

Cas shrugged. "I did. You should have seen this place before."

"It was a party worthy of my favourite nephew," Gabriel sighed. "My stick-in-the-mud little brother also got to the guest list."

Dean looked at Cas wide-eyed. "Thank you."

Cas nodded understandingly. 

"So when is all this happening?"

"Gabriel is going to collect Sam and Bobby in a half hour."

Dean sighed. "I guess I'll go get showered then." He began to leave, before turning back to Gabriel. "You know there's supposed to be birthday cake at these things, right?"

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows. "What about birthday pie?"

"What type?" 

"What type don't we have?"

Dean grinned at his uncle and skipped off to get ready. 

.................

Cas started to follow Dean into the bathroom to help him with his bath. Dean turn to him though before cast could get through the door. "Um I Think I'll get a shower Cas," Dean said in his best adult voice. He was going to see Sam and Bobby soon, and he couldn't stomach the thought of combining those two members of his old life with the life he had been living for the past week."

Cas frowned, but he nodded. 

"Sorry," Dean whispered, feeling very little again.

"Oh bab- Dean, I understand. It's OK if you want to be big for Sam and Bobby."

"I didn't hurt your feelings?"

"Not even close," Cas said. "Maybe you can just give me extra long cuddles tonight."

"Promise," Dean grinned. He had the best daddy ever. 

Dean took his time in the shower and shaving his face. It had only been a few weeks of Cas doing this for him, but it already felt weird to wash himself. 

Choosing his clothing was a bit easier. Although his adult clothes weren't as soft as the things Cas had supplied him, they were still comfortable. Besides, Dean missed jeans and leather jackets. 

When he was ready Dean left his room and joined Cas in the kitchen to wait for Gabriel to return with Bobby and Sam. He stood awkwardly at the counter, caught between the urge to go to Cas for a hug and the need to feel adult. It was weird for the angel who had been such a huge part of his life recently to only be his friend again. Dean knew things would go back to normal as soon as Sam and Bobby left again, but it was still disconcerting. 

Cas sensed his boy's discomfort and put an arm around Dean. The gesture was mostly friendly, but provided enough support to be comforting at the same time. 

Cas noticed something odd as his boy leaned into him. "Dean, where's your pull-up?"

"Come on Cas," Dean said. "You can't expect me to wear one around Sam and Bobby."

"You've been using your diapers every day Dean. What will you do if you need to go to the potty?"

"I'll use the toilet like a normal grown man," Dean growled. "I'm not discussing this Cas."

Castiel's response was cut off by a flap of wings and the jumbled greetings that Dean, Sam, and Bobby all tried to give each other at once. 

Dean hugged Bobby warmly and accepted his "happy birthday" stoically.

"And I suppose I have you to blame for this," Dean said to his brother. 

Sam grinned. "It's about time you had a real birthday party."

Gabriel barged between the two Winchesters and ruffled both of their hair. "Don't worry Sam, he'll get over it."

"At least Gabriel hopes I do. He's on my list right after you."

Sam ignored his brother's threats and gave Dean a hug. "Happy birthday, Dean". 

Dean returned Sam's embrace warmly. As much as he loved his time with Cas, there had definitely been something missing from Dean's life recently, and this was it. 

With the greetings and threats done, Gabriel ushered them into the sitting room for beer, scotch, and birthday pie. Once they were all sitting around with their drinks, Sam turned towards Dean. "So you and Cas are basically living in Bobby's house then?"

Dean blushed and shrugged.

"Hey, no judgement," said Sam. "Bobby's is what I picture when I think of home too."

Dean nodded stiffly, and the conversation petered out awkwardly. 

"So Bobby," Cas said to relieve the silence, "What is going on in the hunting world?"

Bobby broke into a story about Rufus' latest run-in with the cops, and from there the afternoon proceeded smoothly. Dean found himself relaxing and enjoying the company. The beer, which Dean hadn't been allowed to partake in for far too long, was giving him a pleasant buzz, and the pie was every bit as good as Dean had imagined. 

Sam was filling Dean in on his classes, when Dean felt the need to pee. He was sitting in one of his favorite chairs in the presence of the people who loved him, so he relaxed his bladder as he had become used to doing. It wasn't until Dean heard the dripping that he realized something was very wrong. He looked down at his lap in horror. Dean's jeans, his chair, and the floor were completely soaked.

Dean just sat there, stunned, until Sam broke the silence. "Are you okay?"

His little brother's voice brought Dean back to where he was. This wasn't a dream; it was very real. Not only had Dean deliberately wet his pants, but he had done it in front of Sam and Bobby. Absurdly, the other thought that dominated his mind was that he had just proven Cas right, and the angel probably wouldn't let him go anywhere without a pull-up ever again. And oh God, Dean's life was over.

"Dean?" Cas said.

His daddy's gentle question and concerned expression were more than Dean could take. He jumped to his feet and bolted from the room. 

"Dean," Cas called behind him. Dean ignored him and kept running, tears streaming down his cheeks. Now he was crying like a baby too. _Just great._

Dean got to his room and flopped face first onto his bed. He didn't even bother to deal with his wet pants. That would take energy and focus, and all of his faculties were presently consumed in self-loathing. 

Dean didn't bother to look up when Cas came in after him. He knew he didn't deserve whatever comfort Cas would try to offer. _Stupid disgusting baby. Can't even control yourself in front of your little brother. Should just be in diapers all the goddam time. Why do you even get out of bed. You're such a burden. Just sickening._

Cas sucked in his breath sharply. "Dean Winchester, not a single thing you just thought is true. You are wonderful, as an adult and as my little boy."

Despite the angel's best efforts, Dean just cried harder.

................... 

Out in the main room, Gabriel looked at a shocked Sam and snapped his fingers. Sam's eyes instantly took on a far-away look. 

"Where did Dean go," Sam asked when his gaze refocused. 

Gabriel shrugged. "He and Cas went to grab something. I'm sure they'll be back soon."

With the younger Winchester taken care of, Gabriel turned to Bobby. 

"Oh no," Bobby said. "That boy is like a son to me. Whatever is going on with him, I want to know." 

Gabe paused, considering. It would be good for Dean to see he had other supporters besides the angels.

"Tell me what you know ya winged menace. Does this have anything to do with how Dean and Cass have been behaving all day?" Bobby growled. 

"Dean and Cassie have come to a certain arrangement."

"Go on."

"They have discovered it is... therapeutic for Dean to re-experience parts of his past."

"You mean his childhood." 

Gabriel shrugged. "In essence."

"And you idjits were gonna wipe my memory over that?"

"It's what Dean wants."

"Oh really," said Bobby. "Dean was my kid long before he knew you or Castiel. His happiness means the world to me. I know what kind of a childhood he had, and if this is what he needs, then I’m all for it."

Gabriel had the decency to look chastened.

"You give me some time with him, and if Dean still wants my memory wiped, then you can go ahead. You're not doing it until I get to talk to him though."

Gabriel nodded and gestured Bobby towards Dean's bedroom. Bobby grunted and stood up from the table. As he started to leave, Bobby nodded back at Sam, who had been suspiciously quiet through Gabriel's confession. “What'd you do to Tweedledum?" Bobby asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "I hate repeating my work. He'll tune in again when you're all back at the table."

Bobby nodded and went to find Dean. He opened the door of the boys' bedroom to find a sobbing Dean wrapped in Castiel's arms. 

"Shh, it's ok little boy," Cas was murmuring. He looked up when Bobby entered, and the two men eyed each other. Finally though, Cas nodded. 

"Dean, you have a visitor," Cas said. He stood up from the bed to allow Bobby to get close to Dean.

Dean buried his face in his bedspread, refusing to look up.

Bobby moved past Cas to sit next to Dean. He put his hands on Dean's shoulders, forcing the younger man to sit up. Pulling Dean towards him, Bobby wrapped his arms tightly around Dean.

"Sorry, enough of the chick flick moment," Dean managed to get out. He tried to pull away, but Bobby held him tight. 

"No Dean, this is something you need to hear."

Dean shuddered against Bobby's chest, but he didn't attempt to leave again. If Bobby wanted to lay into him, to tell him how gross he was, then Dean would rather just get it over with. 

"Dean, you know I love you like my own son. If I could go back in time and give you a proper childhood I would. I can't though. If what you're doing with these here angels makes you happy, then I'm just glad you've found a way to make something special for yourself. Don't you ever feel bad about having found something that makes you content."

Dean snorted disbelievingly.

"I'm serious," said Bobby. "No one deserves to be happy more than you and Sam do, Dean. Now I have Sammy sorted out, so it's time to get my other boy taken care of."

Bobby took Dean's head in his hands and forced the boy to face him. "Now, you're going to stop beating yourself up and come back to the party. I'm not letting you ruin the first real birthday you've ever had."

Dean sniffed and rubbed his eyes. He was still embarrassed, and he wouldn't have been surprised at all if Bobby never spoke to him again after he escaped from the awkwardness of today, but at least he was pretending to be okay with Dean for now. If nothing else, Dean didn't have to see his own self-hatred mirrored in Bobby's eyes.

"What about Sam?" Dean asked.

"Gabriel did some archangel mumbo jumbo to him. Poor kid doesn't remember a thing past his third slice of pie."

Dean nodded. "Okay then," he said, standing up from the bed. 

Bobby started to leave, but he looked back when he didn't hear Dean following him. The sight that greeted him almost broke his heart for the second time that day. Dean was standing awkwardly by the bed. He was still in his wet pants, and his eyes were red and puffy from crying. The boy obviously didn't know what to do with himself. 

Bobby walked over to him and put a firm but gentle hand on Dean's back. He guided Dean towards the bathroom. "Go on in and wash yourself off. I'll get you some clean clothes." Dean nodded, and Bobby watched long enough to make sure that the boy was following directions, before giving him some privacy. It didn't take Bobby long to track down clothes in Dean's drawers, and he was ready with them when Dean emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

"Com'ere boy," Bobby said. He held out a pull-up for Dean to step into. Dean blushed deeply, but he did as directed, and Bobby let him pull the garment up beneath his towel. Next Bobby held out jeans and then a shirt.

When Dean was fully dressed, Bobby took his hand and started to lead him from the room. Bobby felt resistance though, and when he looked back, Dean again wasn't following. Instead, the kid was looking at his feet, eyes looking like they were starting to glisten.

"Hey," Bobby said. "It's okay. Everything is fine."

"How?" said Dean? "How is anything alright? I'm a fucking baby."

"Watch your mouth," said Bobby sharply. "There's no way Castiel lets you use words like that."

Dean looked suitably chastened, and Bobby sighed. Right now stubborn Dean would be better than this. He eyed the rocking chair he had noticed while looking for clothing for Dean. In a moment of inspiration, Bobby pulled Dean over to the chair. He sat down and tugged the younger man onto his lap. It only took a moment before Dean gave in and leaned into Bobby's chest.

"I meant every word from before," said Bobby, as he began to rock them. "You mean the world to me son, and I want to be a part of whatever makes you happy."

They stayed like that until Dean's sniffling stopped, neither saying anything. 

"Are you ready to go back to the party?" Bobby asked when his boy's heart had stopped racing and his breathing had evened.

Dean nodded. "Uncle Bobby," he asked. "Did you mean that?"

"I meant everything I said, but what part are we talking about?"

"About wanting to be part of it?"

Bobby looked at Dean seriously. "Kid, I always want to be involved in your life. But yes, that includes this if it's as important to you as it seems to be."

Dean nodded and hugged the old hunter tightly. "Thanks," he whispered. 

"Anytime," Bobby said. 

Dean thought there might have been a hitch in his uncle's voice, but he decided he must have been imagining it. Bobby never cried. Not like Dean. 

Dean shook those thoughts from his head and stood up. He waited for Bobby to lift himself out of the chair before he skipped off to rejoin the angels and Sam. 

Cas looked on with relief as his little boy walked into the sitting room, with some spring in his step again. Bobby followed behind Dean stiffly. When Cas managed to catch the man's eye, he mouthed "thank you." Bobby nodded once. They both recognized the understanding they had reached: each of them would do anything for Dean, including making sure that he followed through with this thing that had benefited him so much already.

The rest of the evening was fairly normal. All of the humans ate too much pie, while for the angels there was no such thing. Even Gabe was slowing down by the end of the night though. There was laughter, and gossip, and presents for Dean. And when Gabriel took Sam and Bobby home, Dean was sorry to see them go. Before Bobby would leave though, Dean had to promise he would visit the real house soon. Dean agreed happily. 

After everyone was gone, Cas changed Dean into his diaper and pajamas and put him to bed. Gabriel returned as Cas was reading Dean a story, and the archangel flopped down onto the bed beside them. 

"Guess we're saving our presents for tomorrow then?"

"Presents?" Dean perked up.

Cas sighed. "Gabriel."

"You didn't think your daddy and uncle wouldn't get you any presents did you?"

Dean looked at them wide-eyed. "I kinda thought the party was my present."

Gabriel grinned at Cas. "Guess we can return everything else then." 

The archangel made as if to snap his fingers, but Dean launched himself at his uncle and grabbed onto his hand. "Noo," he whined.

"Stop teasing Dean. I just got him settled for bed," said Cas. "Dean, your uncle isn't going to return your presents. It's not like he would give up the chance to play with them with you. We will however, wait until tomorrow to give them to you."

"Daddy," Dean said at the same time that Gabriel whined, "Cassie."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow is Dean's real birthday, and that is when he will get his gifts. Now say goodnight to Dean and get out Gabe, you're disrupting bedtime."

"Killjoy," Gabriel muttered, but he hugged Dean goodnight then vanished from the room. 

Cas and Dean finished the story about Mortimer and his snowsuit. Then, Cas tucked Dean in and settled beside him on the bed. The angel began his usual nightly routine of stroking his boy's hair until Dean fell asleep. 

"Daddy," Dean said groggily. 

"Yes baby?"

"Thank you."

"For what?" Cas asked.

"For everything," Dean murmured. "That was the best birthday ever, even if Uncle Gabe does return my presents."

Cas smiled softly. "You're more than welcome Dean."

"Daddy?"

"Yes Dean?"

"Don't let me forget to say thanks to Uncle Gabe too."

"I'm sure you won't, but I'll remind you."

Both the angel and his boy were quiet for several minutes, before Dean broke the silence again.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Dean?"

"I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart. Now go to sleep."

Dean snuggled as close to his Daddy as possible, and that's exactly what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new idea for an infantilism story I want to write after this, but I am up in the air on which characters I want it to feature. Which combos are people's favourites?
> 
> -Jensen Ackles & Mischa Collins  
> -Caroline Forbes & Stefan Salvatore  
> -Caroline Forbes & Klaus Mikaelson  
> -Eric Northman & Godric  
> -Spike & Angel
> 
> Edit: Based on the plot I wanted to write, Jensen and Misha works best. Next time I'll try a Spike and Angel, because I love that duo as well. 
> 
> The first chapter of my new story, _Is it you?_ is up. Hope you'll all give it a look :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the use of "snuck". Maybe I'm biased from where I grew up, but "sneaked" should be banned from the English language. I think I'll make an effort to work "snuck" into every chapter now. Crusading for the word that sneaked into our dictionaries and hearts. Now I'm rambling. And I'm done.

Dean had rushed his way through breakfast, almost choking on his cereal twice, until Cas threatened to feed it to him if he didn't slow down. After breakfast, Cas made Dean brush his teeth, wash his face, and get dressed, but finally he was going to get his birthday presents from his uncle and daddy. Dean didn't try to contain his excitement for once, and he was running the risk of driving Cas crazy with his endless questions.

"When can I open them?"

"When your uncle gets here."

"When will that be?"

"I'm not sure, Dean."

"Why don't you angel-call him?"

"Because he might be busy, and he will come when he's able."

"Maybe he forgot. Maybe I should just open one..."

Thank goodness Castiel possessed patience greater than a saint's.

Finally, Dean figured Cas had to be wrong. Gabriel had probably forgotten and just needed a reminder. He snuck off to his bedroom, and looked around for a hiding place. Finally, Dean opened the closet door, sat down on the floor, and slid the door closed for privacy. It certainly wasn't ninja-stealthy, but it was quiet enough.

When there was no sound of Cas approaching, Dean whispered, "Gabriel." 

After a few moments there was no response, so Dean tried again. "Uncle Gabe, I really need you so I can open my birthday presents."

The closet door burst open, and Dean grinned. Well, he did until he saw who was on the other side. A very irate looking Cas glared down at him. 

"Dean Winchester, did you just call Gabriel from Heaven?"

Dean shuffled his feet and looked at the ground. Cas could be scary when he wanted to be. 

"Dean?"

"Maybe," Dean answered finally.

"After I told you not to."

"Oh relax Cassie."

"Uncle Gabe," Dean yelled, in a mixture of excitement and relief. Saved by the archangel. 

"Hey cutie," Gabriel said as he pushed past Cas to pick Dean up from the floor. "I heard something about there being presents to open."

Cas looked like he was about to object, but Gabriel cut in. "Cassie, you're always trying to get Dean to tell you when he wants or needs something. This morning he was borderline selfish. Look at it as progress." Gabriel bopped Dean on this nose when the boy frowned. "Just kidding baby boy."

Cas looked unconvinced, but he took Dean from Gabriel and carried him to the sitting room. He plopped Dean down on the sofa, then kneeled so they were eye-to-eye. "I know you're just excited, so we'll make an exception this time, but you listen when Daddy tells you to do something, okay?"

Dean nodded. "Sorry Daddy."

"I know you are sweetheart." Cas leaned in for a hug. Then, he stood back up, leaving Dean on the couch. "Now, you wait here. Uncle Gabe and I will be right back."

Dean watched as the two angels disappeared. He had never gotten presents from anyone before, except for Sam and sometimes Bobby. He couldn't imagine what he would receive from a human, let alone angels, especially when one of those angels was Gabriel. Suddenly, Dean wasn't sure whether to be excited or to hide.

Dean waited as patiently as an active little boy could, and finally Cas and Gabe came back to get him. Gabriel snapped his fingers, and Dean was surrounded by brightly-coloured wrappings.

"Well?" Gabriel said when Dean didn't immediately start tearing at paper.

Dean was looking dumbly around him. "I-"

"Are you alright?" Cas asked, kneeling down so he was eye-level with his boy.

"I just didn't think- I never had-" Dean took a deep breath and tried again. "I've never seen so many presents." He left "for me" off the end, but Cas and Gabe both heard it.

"You deserve it baby boy." Cas smiled warmly and hugged Dean tightly. "Now, where do you want to start?"

Dean looked at the surreal number of gifts surrounding him. Feeling completely overwhelmed, he picked up the package nearest to him. It was thin and square shaped. The feeling in his hand was familiar, but Dean couldn't figure out why the angels would give him... he had to be wrong. Dean carefully tore open the paper, being used to savoring gifts when he got them. When he finished opening the package, Dean sat there with it in his lap, unsure of what he was feeling. Led Zepplin's "Physical Graffiti" looked up at him. The cover was in perfect condition. Gingerly, he pulled the record from its sleeve. No scratches. The vinyl was pristine. Dean looked up at Gabriel and Cas. "Where do you get this? You know I don't have-" Dean trailed off. The angels had put so much thought, and obviously research, into this. He didn't want to hurt their feelings when it was so thoughtful. "It's amazing. I love it."

Dean felt an arm on his shoulder and looked up. It was Gabriel, and he had a sparkle in his eye. "Why don't you open that one next," he said, pointing to a large box. 

Dean got down on the floor and sat with his legs crossed while he carefully unwrapped the gift. Inside the colourful wrapping was a large cardboard box. Dean opened the box and began to pull out the protective packaging within. _Holy crap._ "Seriously?" he looked up at Gabriel, who smirked. Cas just sat with a serene smile. They were serious. Gingerly, Dean pulled out the familiar record player. He remembered it hazily from his childhood, but more recently from his trip into the past to see John and Mary Winchester. 

"But this was destroyed in the fire?"

"Gabriel went and got it."

"But where will I keep it?"

Cas looked at Dean in confusion. "Here of course."

Dean just stared at Cas until his daddy took pity on him. "Our home isn't going anywhere, Dean. You can come here whenever and stay as long as you want."

Cas looked at Gabriel, who raised an eyebrow. It had been awhile since Dean had spoken, and neither angel knew what was going through the boy's mind. Cas was about to take a look when Dean finally spoke. "Thank you." His voice was small and his eyelashes were clumped wetly. "This is... it's indescribable. Thank you."

"You're very welcome baby," Cas said. 

Dean spied a similar package to the first he opened and reached for it with renewed enthusiasm. He paused mid grab. "Can I?"

Gabriel laughed. "Of course baby cakes. They're for you."

Dean unwrapped this present quicker than the first two. This time the record was far from pristine. The edges of the cover to "Abbey Road" were worn, and one of the corners was missing. Obviously, it had been listened to over and over. Dean noticed none of that though. He held it reverently, fixated on "Mary Winchester", which was scrawled across the bottom. Dean didn't realize his eyes were watering until Gabriel gently removed the record from his hands so that Cas could pull Dean into his lap. 

Cas rocked Dean for a bit, until finally his little boy pushed away from his chest. "Okay," Dean said. "I'm good now." 

"Do you want a break?" Cas asked.

"No, I wanna see the rest. You guys did way too much. I mean, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. It's just a birthday."

"No, it's your birthday," Gabe said. "And that makes it extra special." He tickled Dean until he got a laugh and Dean was reduced to squirming in Cas' lap. 

Finally, Gabriel let up, and Dean was able to breathe again. He went to reach for another package, this one oddly shaped, but Cas caught his hand. "Let's change you first, little one." 

Dean blushed. He thought he had been stealthy enough that the angels wouldn't notice. "I'm fine," he said.

"You have a very squishy bum Dean, do you want to leak or get a rash?"

Dean sighed, but he allowed Cas to take him into his bedroom and change him into a clean diaper. When they finished up, Dean was allowed to open the rest of his presents. He received a few toys, the amplifier that went along with his dad's old record player, and some new clothing for "little Dean". After it all, Dean felt drained. It had been an emotionally exhausting day between the excitement, the longing for his parents, and the overwhelming love he felt both towards and from the angels. Dean would rarely have admitted it normally, but he was ready for a nap.

Cas and Gabe had been silent for awhile, and when Dean looked at them he could tell they were having one of their secret angel meetings. "Not fair," he grumbled.

"Why don't we leave it up to Dean," Gabriel said. 

Cas hesitated, but finally nodded his agreement.

"We have one more gift for you Dean-o. Do you want to see it now or save it for after a nap?"

Dean had been so ready for a snooze, but as soon as Gabriel mentioned another present, Dean felt magically refreshed. At some point he would have to tell the angels not to go so overboard for him. Since they had already done it though...

"Now please," Dean grinned. 

Cas frowned, but Gabriel grinned and grabbed Dean's hand. "This was my idea," he said gleefully. Dean followed helplessly as Gabe towed him out the backdoor of the house. Cas walked behind his family bemusedly. He had millennia of experience with Gabriel. It was better to let his brother get the excitement out of his system; until then the archangel would be impossible to deal with. Cas shook his head. And this was one of the most powerful creatures in the universe. 

Dean almost fell flat on his face when he stopped dead and his uncle tried to keep pulling him along. In their grassy backyard, a feature that didn't exist at the real Bobby's house, was the biggest bouncy castle Dean had ever seen. "It's Dean-sized," he said finally. 

"You bet, kiddo." Gabriel picked Dean up in his arms and ran full tilt towards the inflated monstrosity. 

Castiel watched fondly as Gabriel disappeared and popped back into existence within the castle. He started to jump with Dean still in his arms. The little boy struggled wildly, although Cas could tell he was laughing. Finally, Gabriel threw his squirming nephew into the air, and Dean landed in a heap on the cushioned ground. Instantly Dean was up, and Gabriel was chasing him around and around the bright blue and yellow space. Cas sighed affectionately; there was no way he would get Dean down for a nap now.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean rolled over restlessly in bed. The sun was bright outside his window, but he didn't feel ready to face the world. Yesterday had been the end of his two weeks with Cas as his daddy. He hadn't even been awake an hour, and already the change was obvious. Normally Cas would be in to check on him by now. But there was no way that was the reason that Dean felt out of sorts. 

Dean tried to psych himself up to getting out of bed. There had to be a hunt to go on, a basic salt and burn or a vampire coven to stake. He would drive himself in the Impala, wear his favorite leather jacket, and listen to Led Zepplin. None of those things were as exciting as they should have been though. Finally, Dean forced himself out of bed and into clothing. He ventured quietly out of his room, half hoping to see no one and partly wishing that Castiel would refuse to let him go back to the adult world. Dean knew he needed to go back to his life eventually though, and it would be easier to do so if he didn't run into Da-Cas- or Gabriel. 

Either unaware or just uncaring of Dean's desires, Cas was there to greet the hunter when he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Dean," the angel said.

"Morning," Dean managed. 

Cas eyed his attire and the bag slung over his shoulder. "I assume you are going hunting today then?"

"Mm," Dean agreed noncommittally. He couldn't help but feel disappointed when Cas just nodded.

"Well, in that case, I think it is time I accompany Gabriel to Heaven," Cas said. "He didn't say as much, but I can tell his is concerned by the current state of affairs there."

"Yah, sure Cas. I'll be seeing you then. Thanks for everything." Dean readjusted his bag and made his way to the front door. 

"Dean," Cas said. "Aren't you going to have breakfast?" 

"Not hungry," Dean called over his shoulder. He left through the front door and found the Impala waiting for him in the driveway. Dean wasn't sure where he was, and he had no idea where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to get away from the house as quickly as possible. He turned his key in the ignition and cranked the stereo. Once he started driving, Dean would feel more like himself. Then, he could figure out what he was going to do. 

.................................................................... 

Cas listened to the Impala drive away. "It's for the best," he said to himself.

"What is?"

"Gabriel," Cas exclaimed as he whirled to face his brother. 

"Someone's jumpy. Where's Dean?"

"The two weeks we agreed upon are over. Dean has returned to hunting," Cas said.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "And you aren't going with him?"

"No. I will accompany you to Heaven."

"Cas," Gabriel frowned. "I don't think it's the best time. Dean may need you. It's going to take him time to adjust."

Castiel eyed his brother in confusion. "Dean seemed perfectly fine. He couldn't wait to get back to hunting this morning. Besides, he likes to separate hunting and being little. He wouldn't want me to do anything that would blurry the lines between those. It is the perfect time for me to come with you. If Dean calls me I will return instantly."

Gabriel didn't look convinced, but for once he didn't argue. This was something Cassie would need to figure out for himself. For an intelligent being, Castiel could be unbelievably thick.

..............................................................

When a call finally came for Castiel, it was over a month later, and it was not from Dean.

"Cas," Sam prayed. "I know you and Gabriel are busy, but if you could come down here, that would be great." 

Sam waited. Nothing.

"Cas, I'm worried about Dean."

There was a flutter of wings, and from behind him, Sam heard a gravely voice say, "What is wrong with Dean?"

Sam turned to face the angel. "Thank God you're here. I don't know if anything is wrong, but he hasn't been answering my calls."

"How long has it been since you spoke to him?"

"Not since we were there for his birthday. Bobby told me he's spoken with Dean a couple of times about hunts, but the last time was a week ago. I guess it was a short conversation. Bobby said somethintg felt 'off' about it."

"Dean has been gone a week before without contact," Cas said. 

"Yah, but he hasn't answered any of my messages, and he's had over a month. I don't even think he would have called Bobby if he had another source for information."

"A month." Cas frowned. "I hadn't realized I was away for so long. That is more concerning."

"So you'll look for him?" Sam asked, his relief palpable.

With a nod, the angel was gone. Sam rolled his eyes. At least Cas was going to find Dean, and that was the important thing.

 

.......................................................................

Dean sat in the motel room, drinking from a bottle of whiskey. Newspapers were spread out on the floor, surrounding him. With his latest hunt done, it was time to find another. Dean threw his head back to drain the rest of the bottle, then tossed it in the general direction of the garbage before cracking open another. As long as he left some to start off his day tomorrow, Dean wouldn't feel too rough in the morning. Before, he could have just slept his hangover off while Sammy drove, but caffeine and "hair of the dog" were a good enough substitution for his brother. As had become his habit, Dean refused to think about Cas. The angel would come back when he was finished up in Heaven. Then Dean could have a hunting partner again, or maybe even-. Dean silenced the thought ruthlessly. It had been a wonderful two weeks, but when they parted Cas had not suggested they would do anything similar again. Dean knew the time they had spent together had been a lot of work for the angel, so while it had been a wonderful time, Dean had no intention of bugging Cas to repeat the experience.

Dean's stomach grumbled. He hadn't eaten since the morning, but he was in no shape to drive anywhere now. Food could wait until morning. So could finding a hunt. Dean chucked the newspaper he was currently looking through to the side. It joined the pile of discarded journals. Nothing seemed even remotely up his alley. Dean thought briefly about calling Bobby, but the last time he spoke to the old hunter, Bobby had pestered Dean to call Castiel. "You sound like shit boy," Bobby had said. And what did he know anyway? Dean had been fine on his own before, and he would be again. 

_Maybe you should aim for more than just existing_ suggested a traitorous voice in his mind. 

"Oh fuck off," Dean said to himself.

"Dean Winchester, you know better than to use that kind of language."

Dean was on his feet and whirling 180 degrees before he had time to fully register the voice.

"Cas," Dean said in shock. He returned the stare being directed at him. Surprisingly, Dean wasn't facing a pissed-off angel. Cas just looked...concerned?

"Oh Dean," Cas sighed.

Those two words were enough to bring all the loneliness of the past month to the surface. Dean resisted the urge to run and hug Cas though. That part of their relationship was over. Cas had said he would help Dean relax, and he had. The angel had done a spectacular job of it. Now it was up to Dean to maintain the progress that Cas had made with him. _And that's working out so well._

Dean shook his head to clear the thoughts and the alcohol-induced haze. "Hey Cas, what's up? How are things in Heaven." 

Cas frowned at his boy's slurred words. Something was definitely wrong. The angel grimaced at the empty bottles, but he ignored them in favor of approaching Dean. There was more wrong here than just alcohol. Cas reached up to cup Dean's cheek, but the hunter jerked his face away. 

"Personal space Cas," Dean muttered. "One month away and we're back to square one."

"Dean," Cas tried again.

"Back for some hunting?" Dean interrupted. "I don't have much right now, but give me a day-"

"Dean," Cas said louder. "Enough."

Dean stopped talking, and Cas seized on the opportunity provided him. He took hold of Dean's arm and led him to the bathroom. "Sit," Cas said, gesturing to the toilet. Dean sat.

Cas started running water in the tub. When he took another look at Dean though, he decided sleep was more necessary than a bath. Cas flipped the nob to start up the shower instead. 

"Stand up," Cas ordered.

"Cas-" Dean started.

"Now, Dean."

Dean shut his mouth and stood up. He put forth no other arguments while Cas stripped off his clothing and helped him into the shower. When Dean had finished washing, he turned off the water and poked his head out, unsure of what he was supposed to do next.

Cas held a towel open for him. "Come on, Dean. Let's get you ready for bed."

Dean allowed Cas to dry him off and fetch him pajamas. He put up no resistance until Castiel held out a pull-up for him to step into.

"Cas, I don't-"

"Dean, you will be wearing this to bed one way or another."

Dean sized up the angel. Cas had some nerve disappearing for a month without so much as a text to say "I'm alive, how about you?", and then expecting to waltz back into Dean's life and take over again. His angel looked determined though, and Dean was tired and completely sloshed. Giving in was just easier. He stepped into the pull-up, but he gave Cas the best glare he could manage.

Cas ignored the look in favor of dressing his boy for bed. He helped Dean under the covers and tucked him in. Then, Cas sat down beside Dean and ran his fingers gently through the damp hair. Dean looked as though he would protest, but he said nothing. After that, it wasn't long before Cas heard Dean's breathing even out.

Cas took the opportunity while Dean slept to get a closer look at his boy. What had he been thinking, leaving Dean alone for so long? Dean's face was pale and his eyes were rimmed by dark circles. In his sleep, Dean's stomach grumbled, and Cas was horrified to learn from Dean's sleeping mind that the hunter had been managing only a meal or two a day. Hunting had replaced food and hunting.

"Oh, Dean," Cas sighed again. "I'm so sorry."

In his sleep, Dean rolled over so his face was snuggled into Cas' lap. It was all Castiel could do not to wake him up to apologize and wrap him in a hug. Castiel would set this right, whatever it took.

 

.........................................................

Dean awoke to the unmistakable aroma of bacon. He groaned. His head was pounding. Was he having a stroke? No, he was fairly certain he was supposed to smell burnt toast, not pork products. Hungover then. Dean reached out for his flask, but instead of finding the bedside table, Dean's hand ran into something soft and warm. _Cas._

The previous night came back to Dean in a flash, and he bolted upright.

Angel beside him. Room clean. He smelled like soap. And, yes, he was definitely wearing a damn pull-up.

"What the hell, Cas?" Dean growled, turning his glare on the angel. He grimaced when his head protested at the yelling. Worth it though. "You think you can just waltz in here after being gone for all that time and act like everything is the same? Doesn't work that way."

"I'm sorry," Cas said.

Dean stared, halting the rant he had been working up to. "You're sorry?"

"Yes," Cas replied. "I never should have left you right away after you spent all that time as my boy. Gabriel warned me you might need time to readjust to being an adult, but I foolishly ignored him. This is my fault. Please, allow me to make it up to you."

Dean knew exactly what the angel meant, and God was it tempting. Finally, Dean steeled himself though. "No Cas." He ignored the hurt in the angel's eyes and pushed on. "I can't do it again. I can't have all of that and then have it yanked out from under me again. It may not seem like it, but I am coping. I don't think I'll be able to cope with it a second time though."

"Dean," Cas said softly. "You know you can ask to be my baby anytime. I fully expected you to call me for some time together long before now. I suppose I should have said so, but our time together was not a one-time offer. You just need to let me know when you want your Daddy and I will be there."

"Cas, I-"

"There is no expiry date on this offer Dean. I have missed you as well; however, I didn't want to get in the way of your hunting. It was obvious that you missed it while you were little."

Dean still looked uncertain. "You mean it?" he asked.

"Of course," Cas said. "I would not joke about this. Our house is still there, and I will always be available for you. Besides, I know for a fact that your Uncle Gabriel misses you."

Dean blushed beautifully. Shuffling his feet, he didn't meet Cas' eyes when he asked, "Do I have to choose right now?"

Cas looked at him in confusion. "Choose what Baby?"

"Between being your little boy and hunting."

"Dean," said Cas, and he grasped Dean's chin, forcing the man to meet his eyes. "You never have to choose between those. All you have to do is talk to me. Let me know if you want to be little or a hunter. And I promise I will let you know if there is ever a reason I cannot be your Daddy for a short time, although I hope to Heaven that will never be the case."

Dean smiled. "Take me home please Daddy?"

Cas reached out two fingers, but Dean ducked beneath the angel's hand and wrapped his arms around his Daddy's waist instead. 

Castiel caressed his little boy's head and smiled softly. "Alright Sweetheart, let's go home."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and ideas are always appreciated :) Thanks for reading!


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